


The Long Way Home

by ArcadiaMahler



Series: To Win The World [1]
Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Alternate Universe - Carjacking, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Anal Sex, Car Sex, Carjacking, Death Threats, Excessive Cursing, Excessive Drinking, Implied Relationships, Implied Sexual Content, Implied/Referenced Suicide, M/M, Oral Sex, Suggestive Themes, Threats of Violence
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-01-27
Updated: 2014-02-03
Packaged: 2018-01-10 07:30:54
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 29,914
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1156817
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ArcadiaMahler/pseuds/ArcadiaMahler
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It's not like Erwin wanted to steal the car. It was just part of the job. It's not like Erwin /wanted/ to hold Levi hostage. It was just part of the job. Nobody /wants/ to do these things. Honestly.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Two hours of Grand Theft Auto V and fifteen minutes of Top Gear and this happens. Did I mention I like the Bugatti Veyron? Because you're going to hear it a lot. Based on the idea of Erwin stealing cars for a living, and accidentally taking someone hostage. Carjacking AU

"Could you step out of the car please?"

            Erwin Smith watched as the shaky brunette woman slowly unbuckled her seatbelt, and slid her legs out of the car, and onto the pavement. Erwin stood by the door, nearly feeling he should help the poor woman out of the car. Her breath reeked of alcohol. She looked fairly dizzy, and very guilty. He kept his flashlight on her, his eyes skimming the car slowly. He leaned his left side on the woman's car, looking over it for a moment, before turning back to the woman.

            "Ma'am.-"

            "I swear officer, I wasn't going that fast!" she blurted out, her arms folded. Erwin rolled his eyes, though he knew the woman couldn't see it. He kept his light on the woman, trying to look her over. She was busy staring at the sky, her mouth open slightly as if in awe.

            "There are so many stars out tonight..." she mumbled.

            "Ma'am, I'm going to-"

            "Do I have to do a drunk test? I'll pass I swear!" she nodded her head firmly, her shaggy brown hair ruffling as she did so. The woman stopped abruptly, holding her head. "Ow... that was too fast."

            "I'm arresting you." Erwin remarked, and pulled out the pair of cuffs on his belt, putting the flashlight away.

            "What!? You didn't even I.D. me, you didn't even do the breathalyzer thing. You can't do that." the woman slurred. "I'll call the cops on you!... Wait..."

            Erwin was getting a little impatient, and he knew this gig wasn't going to last, he dropped the cuffs, and pulled out the revolver on his hip, aiming it at the woman.

            "Hey!" she screamed, and her eyes went wide. Her cheeks flushed redder and she fell back, stumbling over her feet. "Take it easy officer! Geez!"

            "Put on the cuffs." Erwin grumbled.

            "Okay! Okay, I will..." the woman became much more obedient. She shook like a leaf in the wind, and reached her hand out, gripping the cuffs, and clicking one on her wrist, and putting one hand in the other. "Th-there." she huffed indignantly. "Now take it easy... Please... put the gun away."

            Erwin raised his brow at the woman, and pulled off his belt dropping it on the ground. Erwin kept his revolver aimed at her, slowly marching back. He sat down in the woman's car seat, and gave a short sigh.

            "Hey... what are you doing?" the woman got on her knees and raised her head, trying to adjust her glasses with her hands cuffed together.

            "Sorry ma'am, it's my job." Erwin replied, and pulled the fake police badge off his chest, throwing it on the ground. "People like a pretty cars."

            "H-hey, wait a minute!" the woman staggered to her feet, her own drunkenness bringing her back down to the ground. "That's that is not... what cops do."

            "I'm not a cop." Erwin replied dejectedly, and threw his coat on the woman, revealing his prosthetic right arm. "Cops need all their limbs. Don't worry, I'm sure someone will find you out here. Eventually."

            "What...?" the woman just sat there dumbfounded as Erwin's coat came over her. It was warm, and she wanted to nap. She tried to process what was going on, why the car was starting without her in it. Why there was a blonde man in the driver seat taking off his right arm.

            "I... What?" she mumbled again, yet before she could get her words out, all she could see was a black Bugatti Veyron barrelling towards the Las Vegas strip.

* * *

 

Carjacking was more of a hobby.

Really.

            Erwin Smith was a very calm man, and he needed to be when he stole cars so often. Losing an arm had made it so difficult to find jobs that would accommodate him, the first of many problems losing an arm had given him. The employer had some doubts in him, all understandable, considering his disability, but they were gone after the first five cars he stole. There was no repercussions considering he never kept a car he stole. There was always the guilty conscious of course, but Erwin wasn't exactly crying on the way to the bank. The employer was pushy, all be it an asshole, but with all the checks and cash he was getting Erwin wasn't about to complain. He had given him a nice house, fancy clothes, even a butler.

            Orders came via e-mail and chat room. The chat room was a cellphone app that would delete the messages sent after they were viewed. Erwin wasn't tech savvy, but the concept seemed simple enough, no one could trace the conversations. The message had come in last month. A Bugatti Veyron. Erwin was familiar with the car, sixteen cylinder, four wheel drive. Fast as lightning, drove like a dream, didn't help that the car was beautiful too. He knew the details because he had stole one before. Why on earth he had to steal a second one was beyond him. He figured the employer had laundered the first one. Now he just wanted one for himself. Erwin could understand that, he would probably get one too, if he ever actually got interested in cars.

            It was a miracle to find a second Bugatti, in Las Vegas, no surprise there. Lucky for Erwin, the employer lived in Long Beach, so this would be a short drive. The last Bugatti ended up somewhere in New York. As smooth and fast as the driving was, nearly one week of nothing but driving and avoiding getting pulled over wasn't exactly fun. This would be much simpler. Everything was planned out, Erwin had flown out to Las Vegas and studied the car and it's driver to find out what the best plan was.

            Every weekend the owner took the car out to the strip, got shitfaced drunk, and drove just a little too fast. Sometimes to show off, sometimes the friend worked the wheel. Erwin had done this routine before. Become a fake cop. It wasn't difficult to find a fake cop uniform in Las Vegas, nor was it hard to find handcuffs and a gun. Erwin had to use his prosthetic arm for this one, as much as he hated it, he just didn't want to give anything away. Stealing a cop car was a different story, yet surprisingly manageable. Erwin had taken the car right under the police noses, and it was almost depressing how easy it was to steal cars, from anyone, the cops included.

            Bugatti's drove like a dream, this one was beautiful, not a scratch on it, shiny black and orange trims on it. The interior was also orange leather, soft and comfortable. Erwin relaxed, placing his left arm on the steering wheel, still pulling the prosthetic arm off. The damn this was a nuisance to put on, but Erwin was familiar with it. It was virtually useless, it wasn't robotic, or functional. The only reason he owned it was so people wouldn't stare at his empty sleeve, or ask a dozen questions when he went out. People never knew how to act around him, either they were full of pity or just assholes. The employer fell under the treating him like an asshole category, but he seemed that way with everyone. Erwin was pleased on to be getting any special treatment.

            Erwin was driving around 150 kph when he heard the groaning.

            _"Oh god."_ came a voice, and Erwin felt every muscle in his body stiffen. He wished silently that it'd be a radio, or some weird cellphone ringtone. Of course, he wouldn't be that lucky.

            _"Oh god... Hanji, I think this is it. I think I'm dying..."_ the voice started to show up clearer, and Erwin slowed the car, wondering if he should pull over. He relaxed, just trying to piece together what was being said. He looked down in the cabin of the car. In the seat next to him, was a bag, in the feet area of the seat was a small man, curled up in a ball with a black coat curled over him. His head was resting face first on the black leather seat, and Erwin hadn't even seen him when he got in the car. The man had short black hair, and dark eyes that blended in too well. Not to mention the fast car wasn't lit very well.

            "Hanji... Hanji pull over I'm going to... I'm going to die..." the man mumbled and turned his head to face Erwin. His cheeks were reddened and his eyes were dark. He was shitfaced drunk, and when he spoke Erwin could smell the bitter alcohol of his breath. The man blinked, once, twice. Erwin looked at the man in near horror.

            "You're not Hanji..." the guy mumbled.

            "No... I'm not..." Erwin replied calmly. "And you need to get out of this car..."

            "No I don't...  this is my car... Isn't it?..." the man murmured. He looked down at himself, and around the car. "Yeah... this is my fuckin car... I love this car..." he mumbled, and slowly lifted himself to his knees. He was a small man, Erwin could tell from how he was curled up in the feet area of the seat. "Why are you in my fucking car?"

            The man certainly didn't sound happy, and Erwin could reason why the man would seem just a little bit angry. He also seemed a bit drunk. He had to trick him somehow. Just make him think it wasn't his car.

            "No. I'm driving you home because you're so drunk." Erwin lied, feeling that wasn't really his best lie, but it wasn't like the person was going to remember.

            "Oh... oh god, then where's Hanji?" the man lifted his head and looked around. "Fuck... She better not be dead. Fucker owes me money..."

            "No, she went home by herself..." Erwin added on. He wondered if the woman he had pulled out earlier was Hanji, but he pushed it from his mind. He had other things to worry about.

            There was a pop of the glove compartment, and the man next to him started to rummage around.

            "This _IS_ my car..." He hissed. "This is my insurance informan... inforn... infra... stuff." the man lifted his head, and Erwin could feel himself starting to sweat. He needed to get rid of this man, and fast. Erwin slowed the car down a bit more, still wondering if he should pull over. He examined his options. The revolver was still next to him. He could pull the man out and just shoot him. No, that would be too much. He was pretty drunk, maybe just pushing him out would be simple enough.

            "Did I ask you to drive me home?" the man asked.

            "Yes." Erwin replied, his voice detached from his thoughts.

            "You're going the wrong way... I think..." the man replied, and lifted his head a bit, looking around outside. "Shit... too many fucking colours... why's... why everythin' gotta be so damn bright... I... I'm gonna fuckin throw up..." The man dropped his head on the seat, and shut his eyes. Erwin breathed a sigh of relief. At least the man seemed out of it. Perhaps just pulling him out would be fine? Erwin looked around and the bright lights of the Las Vegas strip. He would have to wait until he was out of here. It would be too suspicious if he just pulled over and threw someone out in the city. Maybe somewhere out in the desert... Erwin sighed at the thought. No, the man would die if he left him in the Nevada desert. Maybe some shitty motel. There, that sounded good enough, without ruining Erwin's conscious.

            "Oh god, fuck... I... Pull over... fucking pull over..." the man stumbled a few cuss words and then promptly vomited all over the seat. Yellowish-green with chunks of something orange.

            "You've got to be fucking kidding me." Erwin nearly stopped the car as he saw the man vomit all over the seat. "Now I have to call Mike... Thanks..."

            "You're welcome." the man replied calmly, wiping his chin.

            Erwin sighed darkly. Maybe he should just leave the man in the desert. It would be easier. Now he had to get the car cleaned. And of course his car fixing man was in Los Angeles. This had to be the shittiest carjacking he had ever done. He sighed. _It could be fixed_ , he reminded himself, _it will be fixed._ The man looked pale, and sitting in a puddle of vomit wasn't exactly making it better. Erwin pitied him, his one weakness, and slowed down by the side of the road. He may as well clean up what he could.

            "Thanks a fuckin lot..." the man snapped, and opened the car door, leaning out, and vomiting again. Erwin sighed sharply. He stepped out of the car, letting it idle, and pulled the man out, setting him on the ground, away from all his vomit. How could a small man puke so much? He  kneeled down by the seat, and pulled out a rubber glove, using mainly his mouth to slip the glove onto his only hand. He knew the steps for cleaning the car, he just didn't want to initiate them. The drunk man was clutching his backpack, mumbling to himself.

            "I can't believe this... Mike's going to be pissed when I ask for another favour." Erwin grumbled, and started to clean all the solid material off the car seat. He pulled out some cloths from his shoulder bag, as well as a trash bag. Erwin was a man that liked to be prepared, so he tried to pack whatever he felt he would need on the job. Though he always imagined the trashbag would be for worst case scenarios, like hiding bodies, not cleaning vomit.

            _"Yeah... okay... when are they coming...?"_ Erwin noticed the drunk man was leaning on the car with his hand on his face. "Okay... I think we're by the Bellagio... You know the big hotel...?" the man explained, waving his other hand around quite a bit.

            "What the hell are you doing?" Erwin asked. The man knitted his brows, and pulled his hand down, to Erwin's dismay, there was a cellphone.

            "I'm calling the cops." the man replied.

            "You what!?" Erwin shouted, and looked down at him. He really wanted to punch this man in the jaw, and at the same time, he needed to get the hell out of Las Vegas.

            "You know, the cops." the drunkard replied. "They got fast cars. Not as fast as mine though... You can hear em can't you? Wewhoo wewhoo..." the drunk man twisted his finger around in the way that a cops lights would flash. Erwin leaned back and realised that he did hear, in the distance, the sound of a siren, which the drunk man before him was trying to mimic.

            "I can't fucking believe this..." And Erwin really couldn't. He _needed_ this car, and he was running out of options. He grabbed the man in front of him, and threw him back in the car, shut the door, grabbed the driver's side and sped off, his heart beat out of his chest, his fingers were shaking at the wheel. He hadn't even removed his vomit-covered glove and by now, that was the least of his worries.

            "Never should have tried to be nice..." Erwin said. "I should have shot him..." talking out loud didn't calm him down as much as he thought it would. Instead he looked over to the man to see him on his cellphone again. He had already dialled a number and was chatting again.

            "Yeah, just an update, I'm being held hostage..." the man explained to the operator. Erwin twisted around, letting go of the wheel and grabbed the phone out of the man's hand.

            "Will you stop it!?" Erwin snapped.

            "Why should I listen to you? You stole my car, and stole me!... Steal me? Is that what you call hostaging? Hostaging...? Hostage? Host age? I... Huh..." the man seemed off in his own world, Erwin swore he swallowed liquid courage because he wasn't scared at all. He looked amused, considering how aware he was of the situation. Erwin was never really afraid during his job, but there were sirens in the distance, and they were getting louder. Erwin hit the window button with his elbow and chuck the phone out, shattering on the freeway.

            "Okay, right, _you're my hostage_ , and I will kill you if you try to call the cops again."

            "Whatever."

            "I'm serious. I have a gun on me. Now you better be quiet."

            "Or else what? The cops will hear me?"

            "No. J-just... stop talking, please."

            "Fine. Rude motherfucker." the man folded his arms and kept his mouth shut. Erwin looked to him for a moment, before turning to keep his eyes on the road. A hostage. An actual hostage. Had it really come to this? This couldn't be real. He sighed, disgusted with himself. How could he not have noticed a man curled up on the floor? How could he be that blind? Erwin had to rethink what he was doing but police sirens and loud music made it really hard to think. Why was there loud music?

            Erwin turned his head to see the other man fiddling with the radio, he looked lax, almost bored. He leaned in close to see the radio station numbers and sighed, mumbling about the music.

            "What the hell are you doing?" Erwin snapped.

            "You said don't talk. What the hell am I suppose to do?" the man whined, throwing his arms outward dejectedly.

            "Stop dicking around, I said I'd kill you and I meant it." Erwin didn't mean it, and he had a feeling the man could tell. But the man just snorted and folded his arms. He didn't seem to care. "I'll put a bullet right between your eyes." he added, trying to at least make the threat viable.

            _"Do it."_

            Erwin twitched. The man was suicidal. Great. He leaned in towards Erwin, his face still red, and greenish too now, and he dropped his head down on his shoulder.

            "What's your name?" the man asked.

            "Excuse me?" Erwin looked to him, his blue eyes trying to drill holes in him. Was this man out of his mind?

            "What's your name? I wanna make small talk." the man looked around. "You didn't seem to be busy doing anything else."

            Erwin sighed sharply.

            "Look, I don't want to kill you, so just sit quietly, and leave me alone."

            "My name is Levi."

            "Are you even listening?"

            Levi wasn't. The now named man didn't seem to want to listen to Erwin, he just wanted to dick around a bit. Erwin sighed softly, nothing was going right tonight. What could he do? There didn't seem to be much he could do about his hostage to get him to shut up. He could tape his mouth and cuff him, but he'd have to stop the car.

            "My name is Erwin." Erwin retorted, hoping to appease the man. Levi seemed fairly appeased, and slid back in his seat, messing with the garbage bag.

            "You steal cars for a living?" Levi asked, looking around.

            "Yes." Erwin decided to be short with him.

            "Pfft." Levi scoffed. "What a fuckin tool." He remarked, looking over Erwin. "Who you stealing cars for?"

            "Some guy in Long Beach." Erwin replied, his teeth gritting together.

            "Oh for fucks sake, don't be vague. Who is he?" Levi asked, looking down. "Must be someone special if he wants my Bugatti. Long Beach is full of rich assholes."

            "Yeah, not like Las Vegas." Erwin remarked, and turned his head.

            "All right, all right... seriously, who is he? I know you aren't stealing this car for yourself."

            "How do you know that?" Erwin inquired, his eyebrow raised.

            "You don't like cars." Levi informed. Erwin knitted his brows, the man seemed so confident. Levi settled back, his eyes seemed glazed over, his face was sickly. The man was drunk to all hell.

            "How do you know I don't like cars?" Erwin countered.

            "You don't seem the type. I like cars. I like this car. You don't like this car that much." Levi answered, his arms folded. "So who are you stealing it for?"

            "It's not your business." Erwin sighed, leaning back in his seat, his hand gripping the wheel.

            "It's abso-fucking-lutely my business." Levi hissed. "It's my fucking car you're stealing."

            Erwin let his features mellow, and made his shoulders placid. Erwin decided being worked up wouldn't help, considering how stressful Levi was getting. He contemplated the real risk of telling Levi who he was stealing cars for. He doubted Levi could do a thing about it.

            "Well... his name is Nile Dawk." Erwin confessed. Levi made something of a choking sound, and a snort. Erwin realised it was a laugh.

            "Nile Dawk? The fucking 'private security' guy?" Levi put quotations around "private security" with his fingers. "You're shitting me. You really are a tool."

            Nile Dawk had been the head of a private security team for years, which was a nice way of saying he was working with the American government against civilians, for his own personal reasons, of course. Erwin didn't care if it was true or not, the man paid in cash and mansions.

            "You wouldn't think I was a tool if you saw what Nile pays." Erwin retorted.

            "Oh no, then I'd _know_ you're a tool." Levi countered.

            "All I do is steal him the cars he wants, it's not like I'm betraying the country for a couple of bucks." Erwin argued. "He wants a Bugatti so I get him one. He wants a Lamborghini so I get him three. You think it's easy for me to find a job when I'm like this? I haven't killed a single person for a car, I don't intend to either. But I will if I have to."

            Levi sighed softly, and leaned back in his chair. "So that's it huh? You do it for all the thrill. How boring. You should at least have an interesting reason."

            "Like what?" Erwin shot him a glance. Levi shrugged, settling back.

            "I don't know. Like a... "I really want to get in the newspaper, and get on a high speed chase and murder tons of people." That'd at least be fucking interesting. Nobody wants to hear your sad mid life crisis story." Levi shrugged, and looked down at himself.

            "I'm not having a mid life crisis." Erwin growled, narrowing his eyes at Levi.

            "Sure. Whatever." Levi replied. "I'm not the one stealing fancy cars."

            "I'm not the one buying them." Erwin hissed back.

            Levi smiled, Erwin felt the realisation he reacted the way Levi wanted him to. Levi instead dropped his head back on the headrest and sighed.

            "How long do you intend to keep me hostage? I have work on Monday." Levi then asked, changing the topic yet again.

            "As soon as I cross the state line and I'm not being hunted down. Thanks for calling the cops, by the way." Erwin answered, his nails digging into the steering wheel leather.

            "My apologises, next time I get put into a hostage diversion I'll just play spin the fucking bottle." Levi retorted. "It's not like I asked to be here."

            "Well trust me, I would have thrown you out of the car if I knew you were in here." Erwin admitted. "If you weren't so drunk and small maybe I would have noticed."

            "Great. That makes me feel better." Levi replied. Erwin noticed the man starting to lean back, his body limp, and he was silent. He let out a sigh here and there, but he wasn't doing much anymore. Erwin decided to say nothing. Levi followed suit.

            A silent hour of skidding over I-15 and the Las Vegas strip's bright lights flashed in the back of the cars windows. It was silent, remarkably, considering how noisy Levi was earlier. When they were in the distance Erwin floored it, the car handled beautifully when it was fast. Saturday was busy with people flooding into the strip, and the highway exiting would be free until Sunday afternoon. Erwin shifted his hand over the steering wheel, clicking the cruise control and sighed. Levi seemed to be asleep, and Erwin was tired himself. He had been in Las Vegas for a month staking the car out, and now that he could get this over with, he wanted more than ever just to keep pushing forward. He knew better than to drive drowsy, so he needed to make a call. Erwin pulled the glove off by placing his hand between his thighs to catch the rubber, and twisting the glove off his fingers. He reached into his pocket, setting the phone under his ear, and using his shoulder to hold it in place, placing his hand back on the wheel quickly. He knew the road was straight, so there was nothing to worry about, but he couldn't help taking precaution. He still only had one hand to hold the steering wheel.

            "Hey, what's up Erwin? You got the car?"

            "Yeah Mike." Erwin sighed softly. "I have a problem though."

            "Something up with the car?" Mike asked, his voice sounded a little sleepy, but relatively curious.

            "I wish." Erwin grumbled. "That would make it easy to fix." He shot a glance over to Levi, his eyes still shut, his breathing a little fast. "I have a short, angry, drunk problem."

            "Sounds like my ex." Mike replied, followed by a chuckle. Erwin rolled his eyes.

            "I'm serious Mike, I messed up. Someone was in the car and I didn't notice, they called the police and now they're my hostage." Erwin explained, glancing back to Levi as he did so. "I don't even know what I was thinking. I should've thrown him out."

            "You should probably kill him. Like my ex." Mike chuckled.

            "Mike for fucks sake." Erwin sighed, leaning into the steering wheel.

            "Oh calm down. You didn't mess him up or anything right? You didn't beat them or torture them, or feel them up?"

            "Of course not, you know I wouldn't do that!" Erwin growled.

            "Then relax. Just let em' go once you cross the state line." Mike replied. "What are you stressing about?"

            "Well, holding someone hostage wasn't exactly on my agenda, so forgive me for being a little concerned." Erwin replied.

            "Ah, don't worry about it. Even in the worst state hostage situations end pretty well." Mike remarked. "Eh, for the hostage anyway."

            "Mike you're not helping." Erwin complained.

            "What am I supposed to do? Pat you on the back? There, there, honey. Next time try to check the car _for more than two seconds_ before you drive off with a drunk man in the passenger seat?" Mike nagged.

            "Just... give me some direction. I never thought I'd actually commit a crime like this."

            "You mean other than motor vehicle theft?"

            "You're not exactly scot-free yourself."

            "Yeah, but I'm not denying it." Mike scoffed and let out an exhale. "All right, let me think..." Erwin could hear Mike moving around a bit, the unmistakeable noises of a cellphone being played with. "Oh yeah, there's a small little town by the state line called Nipton, you probably heard of it. Ain't shit out there, but there's a truck stop motel, and a garage motel."

            "So?" Erwin asked.

            "So, you can hide the car there if you want, probably take a nap or something, and kick the drunk guy out on the street. I don't even think they have a bus stop out there. Sounds like a plan?"

            Erwin hesitated for a moment, turning to look at Levi.

            "Shouldn't I buy him a bus ticket or something?" Erwin asked.

            "Oh come on Erwin. You're trying to get rid of him. Don't pity him." Mike huffed.

            "I put him in this situation, it's my fault he's here. He even told me he had work on Monday. I didn't mean to inconvenience him."

            "You mean other than stealing his car right?"

            "You know what I meant Mike."

            "Well I can't fix your conscious. I didn't think you had reverse Stockholm Syndrome."

            "I don't have reverse Stockholm Syndrome. It's... well, It's just. I kind of told him about Nile."

            "You did- what? Why?" Mike choked on his words.

            "It just sort of slipped out."

            "Well then that changes a lot more. Erwin, if he tells people Nile hires people to steal cars it's going to be on our head. I don't want my ass chewed on by Nile's private security, okay? You have to kill him."

            "I don't think he's going to do that... He just wants to go home."

            "Erwin you stole a two and a half million dollar car from him. I'm pretty sure he wants to go home because _his life is in danger_. Once you let him go there's no way he isn't calling the cops on you."

            "That doesn't mean he deserves to die. I can't do that."

            "Erwin you don't have a choice, you know we can't risk it."

            "I didn't mean for it to come to that. He's drunk anyway, what's the chances he even remembers what I said?"

            "Well the chance he does remember, is the chance that you and I end up in prison with Nile's security on us for the rest of our lives." Mike sighed sharply. "Look, once you get to Nipton just put a bullet in his head and leave."

            "Mike..." Erwin's gaze drifted to Levi. "I can't do that. We're not murderers Mike."

            "Yeah, we're just car thieves." Mike remarked. Erwin's face crumpled into a grimace. Mike always knew how to hit home. He sighed softly, and looked down at himself for a moment, tilting the phone back.

            "All right, fine. I'll do it in Nipton. Damn it." Erwin huffed.

            "Good. You better call Nile when you get there. I hear he's wanting all his expensive cars chromed, so shoot me the details when you get them."

            "All right, fine. I'll see you tomorrow."

            "Try not to get killed buddy."

            "No promises." Erwin reached to his ear, clicking the phone off and setting it down on his lap. He sighed, his shoulders sagging. Mike Zacharias had been Erwin's friend since childhood, through thick and thin, and he had always trusted his judgement more than anyone else's. If he said Levi had to die, then he had to die. He didn't even know his last name. Erwin tried to shake the thought. What did it matter about his last name? Levi would only become a nuisance if he stayed alive. Erwin was familiar with firing a gun into someone's head, but never on home soil, always in a different country, in a different world. His reasons were always justifiable. This just felt so wrong.

            He turned his head slightly, looking to Levi, and felt his shoulders lock up at the glance. Levi was staring right back at him, his eyes half open, he looked tired, and drunk, and angry. Erwin looked away quickly, and tried to play it off.

            "Lima Syndrome."

            "What?" Erwin's head snapped to the right to look at Levi.

            "It's not called reverse Stockholm Syndrome, idiot. It's called Lima Syndrome." Levi retorted. Erwin knitted his brows, looking at the man, Levi turned his head away, and took his glare with him. Erwin could feel himself breathe when Levi looked away. Something about his gaze was like a rattlesnake. Erwin just wanted to stay as still as possible and hope nothing would happen.

            "Eyes on the road, dumbass." Levi snapped and Erwin nearly slammed his foot into the breaks, turning to see he was drifting into the oncoming lane. He sighed softly, and shifted his leg to the left, feeling the revolver that shared his seat with him. Exhaling, he leaned forward, using his elbow to steer as he ran his fingers through his hair. He kept his leg pressed to the gun and tried to lie to himself, at least for a moment, that he had everything under control.

* * *

 

Levi was tired, but he wasn't really in the mood to sleep. His stomach still churned, his mouth still burned of upchucked stomach acid and alcohol, his mind still spun with bad decisions. He could feel the fast car slowing down to a stop, and slowly lifted his head. He felt cold sudden pressure on his wrist and turned to see Erwin wrapping a metal bracelet around his wrist. Erwin's left had was holding onto the other side of a pair of handcuffs.

            "You've got to be fucking kidding me." Levi hissed.

            "I don't trust you." Erwin replied. "We're in Nipton. Climb out of the car on this side." Erwin scooted out of the seat, and Levi was forced to follow suit, holding his wrist out as he was dragged along.

            "Where the fuck would I go?" Levi snapped, his legs buckled as they suddenly supported his weight and equilibrium at the same time.

            "I don't know, but I'm not risking it." Erwin replied. He looked around, and Levi did as well. Nipton was a small town, smaller than farm country small, where miles around was desert, truck drivers, and every so often, odd people who took a wrong turn going to or coming from Las Vegas. The place was empty, houses spaced wide apart, tourist sites of old gold mines and other old glories of the old mining city. A few shitty motels and truck stops. Levi rolled his eyes.

            "You really know how to find the biggest piece of shit nowhere town, huh?" Levi hissed.

            "Be quiet." Erwin huffed, and found what he was looking for. He dragged Levi along, the man stumbled next to him, his wrist held out.

            "Let me grab my stuff for fucks sake." Levi argued. "Will you calm the fuck down?"

            "I'll get it for you. I'm putting the car away." Erwin remarked, and tugged Levi over to the building he had parked outside of. He pushed the cuff around the rain gutter, attaching Levi to it, and sighed quietly.

            "This is fucking ridiculous."

            "I'll be right back."

            "Fuck you."

            "I had a feeling you'd say that." Erwin shut the door, pulling the car away and driving towards the parking garage for the inn. He would say something to Levi about his horrible cussing, but he knew the man had every right to cuss and scream at Erwin. The streets were empty, no one was up at this ungodly hour aside from truckers and motel staff. He parked quickly, shutting off the car. He sighed, looking down at the passenger seat, everything still reeked of vomit and alcohol, and the trash bag did nothing but protect the person who sat down. He noticed a small black backpack on the floor and picked it up. It also smelt of vomit and alcohol, and Erwin was pretty sure he smelt just the same. The bag was heavy, and Erwin unzipped the pockets, wondering what Levi had on himself. Mouthwash, deodorant, gloves, disinfectant wipes, shampoo, conditioner, toothpaste and a toothbrush. He checked another pocket. A half-empty flask of vodka and a couple of sickbags for vomiting. Erwin sighed, that certainly would have been useful earlier. The largest pocket of the backpack had the zippers locked together with a combination lock. Erwin tried to fumble with it a bit, before he decided to just feel the bag. It felt soft, and he assumed the last pocket was clothing. He pulled the bag over his right shoulder, and pulled the gun out. Erwin exited quietly, trying to keep calm until he heard a woman's voice coming from the motel.

            "Shit." Erwin mumbled, walking out quicker. The woman was tugging the cuff on Levi's wrist, the other man looked fairly disinterested in the woman. She was a short, dusty haired older lady, and she looked desperate, trying to be helpful.

            "There he is." Levi said, pointing to Erwin. The lady spun around and sucked in her cheeks, flushing red. She looked infuriated.

            "Just what the hell is going on!? Why is this man cuffed to my building?" she snapped. Erwin raised his brow and looked over the woman.

            "I assume you're the motel owner?"

            "It's an inn!" the woman screeched. "Yes I am the owne- Is that a gun? What are you doing with that gun? I'm calling the police ri-"

            "Oh, _the gun? Really?_ How kinky do you plan on getting tonight?" Levi asked, his slurred, low pitch voice had returned, he sounded the same earlier before he had vomited all over the seat. Erwin froze up, staring at the man as he slid against the rain gutter, giving the most unsettling laugh Erwin had ever heard. The woman looked at Erwin bewildered, then at Levi with even more confusion.

            "What?" the woman asked, and Erwin could very well say the same question.

            Levi did the same drunken laughter noise and tugged the cuff again playfully. "Oh, We were headed to this BDSM club in Los Angeles. I guess I drank too much in Vegas because I threw up all over the car. So we wanted to stop and clean up before we kept going." Levi's eyes narrowed and glanced to Erwin. "Right, honey?"

            "Uh... yeah..." Erwin mumbled as quiet as possible.

            The innkeeper simply looked at them as if aliens had touched down on earth. Erwin wanted to say something, but Levi kept speaking.

            "I know you really like the cop routine, but did you really need to bring the gun out?" Levi asked, tilting his head up to the stars and flashing an odd smile. "We didn't even order the room yet."

            "Uh..." Erwin felt his voice leaving him in utter confusion.

            "Sorry, he's a little slow when he drinks." Levi turned to the  innkeeper. "I wanted to rent a room under the name Levi. We'll be staying together."

            The innkeeper looked to Erwin, her eyes bridled with confusion and a desire to leave. She blinked a few times, stepping back. "And... you are?"

            "Erwin. He's my husband."

            "What?" Erwin looked like he didn't even know what to do with his face anymore, other than stare at Levi.

            "Remember?" Levi hissed. "I lost the rings in Vegas. We were going to get new ones? That's one of the reasons why we're going to Los Angeles. Now can you uncuff me so we can pay for the room?"

            "I... uh..." a crimson flush was spreading from under Erwin's collar. What the hell was he even going on about? Erwin was paralyzed, the innkeeper included. Levi changed in the blink of an eye and gave a murderous look.

            "I said uncuff me honey." his voice made Erwin's hair stand up on the back of his neck. He snapped out of his paralysis and walked over, pulling out the key and pulling the cuff off the rain gutter. Levi wrapped his hands around Erwin's neck, burying his face against him. He growled threateningly, and ripped the backpack off Erwin's shoulder. He quickly undid the combination lock, and pulled out a leather wallet, offering the innkeeper three hundred dollars.

            "Keep the change." Levi said, and replaced his wallet, locking his bag again. The woman just muttered something about Vegas, and held the money away from her body as if it was infected with a virus. Erwin kept his hand on the bag, pulling it towards himself as they watched the woman leave. Levi snapped his gaze back to Erwin as soon as the woman was inside, his eyes glowing with anger.

            "If you tell anyone I said those things I will rip your dick off in your sleep." Levi snarled. "Now let go of my shit."

            "No-"

            "I paid three hundred dollars for a shitty fucking motel and pretended you were my fucking husband so she didn't call the cops, just give me back my shit!" Levi screeched, and Erwin tensed up a bit, somewhat in fear, and somewhat in confusion. He let go, and Levi ripped the bag away, holding it to his chest and turning to the motel entrance. Erwin followed after, his hand on the gun at his side. The woman had shrunk behind the counter, and left the keys to the room on the table. Levi picked them up quickly, noticing the woman wasn't looking them in the eye.

            "We'll try not to make too much noise but..." Levi looked back to Erwin. "No promises." the woman nodded her head absently, looking away, avoid eye contact. "We'll check out tomorrow." Erwin followed Levi as he looked for the room, slowly pulling out his revolver and keeping it low. Erwin hesitated, looking down at himself. He knew he had to be careful, but Levi just didn't seem to be the type, just in the wrong place in the wrong time. Whether he liked it or not Erwin knew he had to shoot him at some point and keep him quiet. Levi pulled his backpack close, the cuff jingling as he set his hand on the bed. He turned around to face Erwin, sighing sharply.

            "Will you stop with the fucking revolver?" Levi growled. "I'm not running."

            "I can't risk it. I don't trust-"

            "I paid three hundred dollars for a herpes infested motel room for you! Not to mention you're stealing my car you sack of shit! If I was running I would have cried and screamed and yelled for the police, I would be telling that lady to find the nearest cop station and help me! I'm not stressing this any more than I have to, the least you can do is calm the fuck down." Levi hissed, and Erwin felt as if he was being reprimanded. Levi was right on all accounts, he took in consideration all that had happened. Levi hadn't give a single notion of resistance, not a notion that he would run away. He seemed virtually okay with everything, as if Erwin wasn't in the process of making off with his two and a half million dollar car. Erwin shut the door to the room, sitting down on the chair by the nightstand. He massaged the back of his neck, his eyes half closed. He took in a deep breath, and hissed out an exhale.

            "What the fuck am I doing?" Erwin asked dejected, his shoulders slumping forward.

            "Being a dumbass." Levi replied. "Can I shower? I smell like shit and vomit."

            "Fine." Erwin mumbled. "You can't take the cuff off though."

            "Oh come on, I'm not tr- You know what? Fine, fuck it." Levi stood up from the bed and began to pull his long sleeve black shirt off, folding it neatly and rolling it up bitterly. Next his shoes and he began to fold his socks and slacks, until he folded his underwear and he stood bare in the motel room, nothing but a cuff on his wrist. Erwin turned to face the wall, trying not to eye Levi's body, trying not to notice the tattoo on his shoulder, or the tattoo above his ass-

            "See something you like?" Erwin realised his gaze had drifted down to Levi's ass and the man was standing in the bathroom doorway, arms folded.

            "No." Erwin replied quickly.

            "You're real flattering." Levi remarked. "You must do well with all the girls."

            "I'm not straight." Erwin retorted before he realised what he was saying. Levi raised his brow and left the door open slightly, allowing Erwin to see into the bathroom.

            "Really? Me neither." Levi replied, and turned the water on sighing softly. "Ugh... finally." He mumbled, steam starting to drift around the room as it hit the shower floor. "I like how this bathroom doesn't have a window," Levi commented "You know, just for future reference. If you plan on taking more hostages, this would be a good motel to stay at."

            "I didn't mean to take you hostage!" Erwin snapped.

            "All right, take a joke, god damn..." Levi hissed. "So you're not straight huh? Is that why you try to impress Nile? Steal all these fancy cars for him? Want him to take you for a ride someday?"

            "There's nothing going on between me and him! He's got a family for-"

            "I'm just fucking with you. You're so uptight. Can't you make some small talk for five seconds without losing your shit? You don't have to be so goddamn dull."

            "Sorry I'm not in the mood for chatting, what with my accidental hostage."

            "Oh how can you even call me that anymore? I'm not a hostage, I'm just along for the ride. I'd have run away screaming as soon as possible."

            "You're staying here." Erwin replied, clenching the revolver tightly. "And I'll tell you now, I'll kill you if you try to call the cops again."

            "You'll kill me even if I don't."

            Erwin stiffened when Levi replied so calmly, turning his head slightly. Levi was running his hands through his hair, he had removed the toiletries from his backpack and was running the shampoo through his hair. His skin was scratched red just to make sure it was clean. Levi turned and locked eyes with Erwin, a smile on his lips. Erwin turned away from the door as soon as Levi looked at him.

            "You're going to kill me right? Because I can get you and Nile Dawk arrested if I tell the cops about this. You can't let me go. You can't give me a chance. Right?"

            Erwin kept his mouth shut, his hand tightening around the revolver.

            "You can have the courtesy to respond you know." Levi hissed. "Is conversing too difficult? Here, you ask a question, I answer, then I ask a question. Is that simple enough?"

            "I'm not in the mood."

            "You're going to kill me, and you can't even entertain me with twenty fucking questions? What do I have to do t-"

            "Why aren't you running?"

            Levi paused, turning to look at the doorway, but he noticed Erwin wasn't looking at him. He was sitting on the edge of the bed, the revolver still clenched in his hands. Levi was silent for a few moments, and let out a scoff.

            "I don't know. I'm bored." Levi replied. "I want to see where this is going. I'm just doing it for shit's and giggles. I thought it would be more exciting than this. Big car chase down I-15, murdering people, being cornered, big police shootout where you threaten my life and put a gun to my head. You know. The works. Now I'm shampooing vomit out of my hair in a shitty motel."

            "Sorry I didn't live up to your expectations."

            "Trust me, I'm much sorrier than you."

            Erwin gave a sigh and Levi scoffed.

            "My turn." Levi replied. "How did you find my car? How do you find the cars you steal anyway?"

            "Well..." Erwin scratched his chin. "Nile has access to citizen records of purchased items. He lets me see who has what so I can grab it for him. And someti-"

            "Ugh, that's dull. I don't want to hear about you sucking Nile Dawk's cock for info." Levi hissed. "I'm sure you're tired of answering, but I'm asking anyway. How'd you lose your arm?"

            "I.E.D." Erwin answered without hesitation.

            "Is that so. Military huh?"

            Erwin nodded, realizing Levi couldn't see him and answered verbally. "Yes, I was in the army for... a long damn time."

            "Mhhn... Then you got kicked out because your useless without your right arm. You work your way up to being independent, and now you just want to feel important again, right?" Erwin kept his mouth shut, his face turning into a grimace. His gaze went to his empty sleeve where his elbow once existed.

            "I'm done with questions." Erwin hissed.

            "Fuck off, you can't be that sensitive about it." Levi snapped. "That's it isn't it? Shit happens and everyone freaks out for you, and they want to do all the shit you used to do on your own. And you learn how to be independent, again, and they all fuck off again. Like you never actually mattered in the first place. And you like it because you want to be an adult, and then you get lonely, and you get bored. They still pity you, send you a salary for doing nothing, you aren't poor you aren't rich you're everyone else in the country, lazy fuck with shit to do except watch T.V, eat, shit, sleep and die." Levi scoffed again, rinsing his hair off. "You want to be excited again, you refused to stay in place like all these pigs, rolling in their filth until someone picks them off one by one. You want to get your dick hard doing crazy stupid shit r-"

            "That's not it!" Erwin snapped, his face crinkled in a angry grimace. "That's not fuckin' it... You're right, I hate being pitied and I hated being paid to do nothing. I don't do it to get excited. I don't care about that. I do it for the money. That's it."

            Levi tilted his head back curiously, letting the water rush over him. "Why is that?"

            "Because if I somehow get out of this stupid business I want to just retire. I want to find someone worth my time, and spoil them rotten. I want to do that for someone. I want to actually mean something to one person, than mean nothing to everyone. I want to retire and be wealthy and old and just die. Because I'm a selfish human being, okay?"

            Levi said nothing for a few moments, he gave a scoff, running his hands over his black hair.

            "That's not selfish idiot." Levi replied. "That's probably the opposite. You just want to have shit to give away, you want to be loved... You're disgusting."

            "You're the one to talk. All you proved to me is you're just suicidal." Erwin snapped. "You either act like you're drunk or crazy or cuss and bitch me out."

            "You didn't ask."

            "I didn't ask what?"

            "About my life." Levi replied. "About what I want."

            "Fine. What do you want then?" Erwin hissed. "What do you even do for a living to get such an expensive car?"

            "I don't want anything. I don't even really like cars." Levi replied. "I've been around the world, met a bunch of idiots... I have an incredibly boring job. My friends, if I can call them that, want me to go out and get shitfaced and gamble. They want me to live life for a little while, loosen up. I'm too mature, I've always acted like an adult, even in grade school." Levi chuckled a bit, his voice bounced off the bathroom walls. " Getting drunk doesn't make me dizzy. It makes me puke. You can tell obviously. I act drunk so my friends will fuck off. Puking is progress to them, progress towards me having the time of my fucking life. They don't get it. They never will. I don't want cheap thrills, I don't want booze and whores and stupid TV dramas. I want to really get fucked over. I want to get a rush. I want to really think _"Oh god, I'm going to die."_ and want to give all the final prayers I never knew how to give."

            "You want to die?" Erwin replied.

            "Painfully, if I'm lucky, and with a long drawn out death rattle." Levi replied. The shower turned off and Levi quickly exited the shower, grabbing a handful of the hotel towels, drying himself off. "Figure if I can find some way to trigger someone to attack me it would work. That's why I have that stupid car. Someone would try and be brave, or pick a fight with me, or try to steal it, and I could fuck them up... Or maybe I could find someone as stupid as me."

            "And what would you do then?" Erwin replied, folding his arm.

            "We'd have a nice chat and plot out how to kill each other. Or we'd just have brutal sex. That's all I imagine we'd be good at." Levi replied, and began to slip on a clean cotton shirt, as well as new underwear and pants. He glanced inside of his backpack and shoved the used clothing inside, locking it quickly. "It's simple in the long run. When you think about it, crime happens every day. I wish it happened around me more often. Maybe if I find someone who gets off on being a criminal we could just break all the laws there are." Levi exited the bathroom, his hair still damp and the cuff jingling against his wrist. He looked down at Erwin quietly for a moment and grimaced.

            "Instead I got you. What a pathetic death I'm going to have." Levi sighed softly.

            "I understand." Erwin replied calmly. "You're just fucking insane."

            "You can put it that way." Levi replied, and looked around at the room.  Erwin sighed, taking a good look at the man. He had slipped on his rubber gloves as well as thick socks.

            "Let's just go to bed. I'm too tired for this right now.." Erwin grabbed the cuff and chained Levi to the foot of the bed. Levi stumbled as he was pushed so low to the ground, and looked to him in disgust.

            "You're kidding right?" Levi huffed. "This floor is probably covered in hepatitis."

            "Just deal with it. I'm tired. I want to go to sleep." Erwin sighed softly and sat down on the bed, he was still gripping the revolver, but his fingers were around the barrel, and he held it simply just to have it as a threat, not pointed at Levi constantly. Erwin pulled off his shirt, as well as his pants and belt leaving his white undershirt and shorts on. Levi was laying on the ground, his bag held close to him, and he fished around for disinfectant wipes to lay under his head. Levi tugged the cuff a bit more, grimacing before he lifted his head, putting it on the side of the bed.

            "Come on, I'll sleep next to you. I'm quiet." Levi grumbled. "You can cuff me to the headboard. Isn't that kinkier than the fucking floor?"

            Erwin sighed softly, and sat upright on the bed. He looked down at Levi, who was still holding disinfectant wipes to the floor.

            "Will you be quiet if I cuff you here?" Erwin huffed, pointing to the headboard.

            "If it means no hepatitis from a motel." Levi replied. "Then yes."

            Erwin sighed. "Fine." Exhaustion and stress had roughed his words, and Levi just looked to him blankly as he leaned over and uncuffed him. Erwin reached out to grab the cuff, his hand shook and his eyes drifted half-closed. Levi shifted away scoffing.

            "I'll do it myself." he snapped, and climbed onto the bed, and cuffed himself to a bar on the headboard, resting his head on the pillow. His dark eyes had two black lines following Erwin, the blonde had been fully done with the day's events. He drew a long breath and let out a hiss of a sigh. Erwin looked to Levi, he wanted to make sure he fell asleep first. The man seemed to have fallen asleep before he even hit the pillow, but he took no chances. He waited for Levi's breathing to get deeper. He watched his facial features slowly relax, his body shifting into the mess of a bed. Levi kept his free hand flat on the duvet, his fingers twitching.

            Erwin decided to sleep with the revolver.

            He held it close to his chest, studying it, a simple six bullet chamber revolver, he had never done justice of using it on a real person- not yet anyway- and he examined it. It was sleek and silver with a wooden handle. He pulled his hand over, keeping the revolver at his face level. His eyes began to lose focus, even the man before him was a pale blur in his vision. Shadows drifted over his vision, like ghosts, lulling him to sleep. He could hear the sizzling of a headache in the back of his skull, blood rushing through him quickly, making him dizzy. He shut his eyes tightly, trying not to feel sick at his own exhaustion. He pulled the revolver close to his chest. And a sudden thought occurred to him. Mike had told him to kill Levi as soon as he got in town. Now he was sharing a bed with the man. He looked down at his revolver, the threat was still there, and it was all he felt left to give Levi. He began to contemplate Levi's words. All the man really wanted to do was die. Maybe he could give him what he wanted? Erwin tried to reason himself into being faultless to shoot Levi. Shooting him would be a privilege that Levi wanted. Levi had said so himself. It was what he wanted. He would give that to him.

            That was the lie he decided to tell himself.

            Another lie, nothing special, that this was all for good reason, a just cause, he was faultless, as he was invincible. Erwin had been telling himself this since he started jacking cars, hell, since he joined the military. It was a just cause, he was faultless, he was invincible. Erwin looked down at his right side. Invincible. He was supposed to be invincible... If he was invincible then why the fuck was everything this way? Why did he lose his arm? Why did he end up working for a shitty rich asshole? Why did his friend leave the military when he suffered no injury? When it was Erwin who had to be ejected? Why did Mike stay with him? Pity? Grieving for him because he didn't know how to grieve for himself? Levi had been right. He had been reduced to a pig like the rest of the world around him, wallowing in filth and self-pity, looking for something to cling to in death. Erwin began to feel the stress rising in his head, and suddenly a hand reached out and pressed to his side.

            The pain and buzzing ceased. The headache went away from a simple touch. Erwin lifted his gaze, Levi's hand was on his face, his thumb running over the area between his jaw and ear. Levi was almost smiling, his eyes glowing darkly in the lightless motel room. He opened his mouth, his teeth were a soft white.

            "Why don't you kill me now?" He whispered calmly. "Splatter my brain all over this motel room with your pretty gun, and then drive far away... It's not different, you know. Than being in the military. Those people that died... they were evil right? And I'm evil. So kill me." Levi had a low rumble in his voice, and it sent electricity down Erwin's spine. "This world doesn't need people like me. People who don't submit to cheap thrills, people who want the world to be their addiction. No, people like me go crazy, or we die trying. And we like to justify it don't we?"

            Erwin cocked the revolver, his tired mind mingling with Levi's words and they buzzed around endlessly in his head. He lifted the revolver to Levi's head, and the man smiled, tugging his handcuff to as he leaned forward. The silver revolver glowed white in the moonlight that peeked through the window. Never did Erwin ever think that killing someone would be pretty, but this felt close. Moonlight glistened on Levi's hair, his eyes, his lips-

            "You have to kill me, or you'll go crazy." Levi whispered. "It's easy. Just pull the trigger." Levi leaned in, his eyes had a soft expression, he pursed his lips together, and leaned down, kissing the barrel of the revolver. His fingers brushed Erwin's slender and small. His lips were soft and pink, his skin shined in the moonlight. The soft sound of lips against the barrel of a gun was such a sweet noise. His eyes shut, Erwin noticed how long his lashes were, and how demented his smile was.

            " _You can't do it?_ " Levi questioned mockingly.

            "Why did you tell that woman I was your husband?"

            Levi peered up at Erwin, he seemed almost surprised that Erwin said anything, and then immediately bored, his eyes half lidded again. Erwin assumed Levi thought he would hear the sound of a revolver firing in his head, not Erwin's voice.

            "Because she was going to call the cops. If she did then they would arrest you." Levi replied calmly. "And if they arrested you, I wouldn't have anything to do."

            "You just want to string me along?"

            "Sort of. Shits and giggles really. I told you. The regular world bores me. I figure I'd learn more about the life and times of Erwin, the man who stole my car, but he ended being boring as hell. My mistake." Levi replied, shifting around in the sheets. "Even then, a boring carjacker is better than a boring normal person."

            "What do you constitute as normal?" Erwin knitted his brows, and slowly began to drop his hand down. He had to keep talking, the silence made his head noisy, and he kept thinking about the revolver pressed to Levi's lips a moment ago. In a moment Levi gave a grizzly looking smile, his face contorted to an disgusted expression, and Erwin thought he shouldn't have asked.

            "What I constitute as "normal"? What's normal? People who listen to the rules, and expect to get rewarded because of it. That's a normal person..." Levi leaned over, pressing to Erwin's shoulder. "But you and I know both... that if you want something nice, you just have to go and take it, right? Life doesn't hand out gifts. You don't get to choose when your born, why your born, how rich you are. So you have to take it from someone that has it."

            Levi then pulled his body over Erwin, and his hand let go of the revolver. Levi kept his cuffed arm out, and sat up on his knees, his legs spread over Erwin's waist. He flashed his white smile, and leaned in, tilting his head. "Pumping gas, waiting tables, fast-food -fucking- restaurants. We get shitty jobs and serve shitty people, and why? To get the money we need, to buy the shit we don't need! That's what normal people do. You know why that is? Because that's all we'll amount to! We eat, we shit, we fuck and we die! That's a normal person!" Levi's hand came down on Erwin's collar, and pulled their two faces as close together as possible.

            "And then there's us. The world hates people like us. Because we're never going to be rich, we're never going to be famous. And we _like_ that. We'll never want all the things people dream about. You know why? Because it's a bunch of bullshit. Millionaires like Nile Dawk mocks us, and our friends pity us. Sound familiar?" Erwin swallowed hard, his heart was beating in his throat, and Levi's hand came tighter around his neck. "They're consumers, they wallow around in filth and wait to be fed everything they want. Then what are we? Huh? Do you know Erwin?"

            "Takers." Erwin answered immediately, as if the answer was always on his tongue.

            Levi smiled, and let Erwin's collar go so he could breathe fresh air again. He gasped slightly, and Levi dropped his head on his chest, their torso's pressed together.

            "Exactly." he whispered. " We're rats. We dig around in the pigs filth and take the things they don't need. Because we're done waiting." Levi lifted his head, his lips back to a frown. "Happy now? There's your moment of fucking clarity." Levi shoved Erwin back into the bed, settling on his lap, his legs spread over him. He brought his hand down to Erwin's hand, feeling at the revolver. "Are you going to kill me now?"

           Erwin's throat was dry, his hand trembled. He felt his mouth going numb and his face flushing pink. Levi's gaze bore a hole into him. He didn't know if he should answer the question, or how he should answer the question. He looked down at the corners of the room, trying to avoid Levi's gaze, trying to summon something to say. Some way to respond. Levi seemed almost eager for a response.

            "Do you want me to?"

            Levi laughed, the same unsettling noise. He hummed in the back of his throat, and looked back down at Erwin.

            "Don't tell me you're scared, are you?" he cackled, and grabbed his backpack. "Fine. I'll help you kill me. Since you're taking so fucking long. I guess we all get a little nervous during foreplay." Levi pulled out his mouthwash bottle, and his flask half full of vodka. He mixed them together, shoving it against Erwin's chest.

            "Mouthwash is twenty-seven percent alcohol. Don't spit it out." Levi placed the flask in his hand, but Erwin found himself drinking the mix on his own. It burned. It felt awful, it made his teeth and gums burn. His tongue felt like he poured acid on it, and the mixture slid down his throat, leaving a bitter mint scented tasted in his mouth. He coughed, trying to breathe, the smell was overwhelming with alcohol and mint. Levi seemed fairly amused, Erwin felt too nervous to object drinking, so he continued to drink. It was like fire, but he allowed it to burn. It burned until his head got hot with the scent with mint. If he was overthinking anything, it was gone now. Levi took a sip of his mouthwash bottle and brought his finger to Erwin's lips, and pulled the near-empty flask from his hand. He held the revolver, handle out, forcing Erwin to hold it. Erwin did so, because he wasn't really sure what he was doing.  Erwin squeezed tightly on the revolver handle. Nothing was making much sense anymore. Just that the room seemed like it was spinning, Levi was heavier than he looked, and everything smelt like bitter mint and vodka.

            "You... you have a lot of stuff in that bag..." Erwin mumbled. "Why...?"

            "Don't avoid the topic again. No more talking." Levi said, his tone was rough again, and he took another sip of alcohol. "Just point the gun and fire."

            Erwin shakily held up the revolver, Levi's eyes were glowing.

            "Come on, cut to the chase already. Enough foreplay." Levi egged him on, and Erwin grit his teeth. Erwin lifted the revolver up into the air, clenched so tightly his knuckles turned white.

            Erwin threw the revolver across the room.

            "I'll kill you tomorrow." Erwin's voice was ruined with alcohol, and it was dark and deep. "I'm too tired." That was a lie, even Levi could see that. He was more awake than ever, and getting drunker by the second. Levi looked to the revolver, which had created a crack in the motel window, and now laid abandon on the floor. The silver revolver gleamed in the moonlight. He scoffed softly, and dropped his gaze back to Erwin.

            "What a cocktease." Levi hissed. He swallowed a mouthful of the bitter mouthwash again and placed it back in his backpack. Erwin felt like he was burning, his insides were on fire. The alcohol pumped to his brain, his thoughts dissolved in his fiery blood. Erwin wondered if this was what hell would feel like, and he wondered if he deserved it. His mind struggled to keep up with his actions, before he could help himself his hands were on Levi's clothes. Soon enough they were on Levi's skin, staring at scars and tattoos, images were glassy and buzzing in his head.

            "Eat, shit, fuck and die. Well, I may as well fuck if I'm dying." Levi's words buzzed around in his head, and he blinked a few times, he crinkled his eyes, trying to figure out what was going on.

            "You got fucked up, huh?" Levi's hands were on Erwin's chest, tracing war scars, making a humming noise with the back of his throat. Erwin couldn't remember when his shirt came off, and he really didn't want to. Levi's fingers traced his scars up his right arm, violent shivers wracking his spine the more he touched. His hair stood on the back of his neck, and he felt Levi's lips on his chest. Levi was straddling him, and for the first time he felt comfortable being helpless under another man. Of course, maybe that was the alcohol comforting him. All Erwin felt was his body shuddering, his brain numbing with chemicals, and it felt _really good._

            _"We're all fucked up here, aren't we?"_ Levi's voice bounced off the walls, and if that was all Erwin had left to cling on, he clung to it.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This should be done by chapter two, if not, chapter three for sure. Thank you for reading, please comment or kudos, and if you'd like to send me some prompts for fanfics find me at my tumblr, arcadiamahler


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> All great accidental kidnappings must come to an end.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I realise I subconsciously quoted something similar to the movie fight club in the last chapter, forgive me I remember that line affecting me, I had actually forgotten what it was from. I in no way wish to plagiarise other peoples work. Chuck Palahniuk owns the book Fight Club, I recommend a read if you haven't already. Also, I have to say I've never been to Las Vegas, or the area other than Los Angeles, so I hope I'm describing them properly. Lastly, some smut in this chapter, which I haven't written in a while, so forgive me.

            Erwin couldn't remember the last time he woke up next to someone, and if he did, it was probably a more pleasant memory. Consciousness gripped him before anything else would, and shook him awake wildly. He laid in the bed, too corrupted to move, muscles screaming, his brain throbbing in pain. He slowly spread his fingers out, trying to figure out where the rest of his body was. His hands trailed over skin, and it wasn't his skin. Erwin opened his eyes, blurred lines of sunlight streaked through the windows, and his vision blurred to the haze of blackness as blood rushed to his head, into his eyes.

            By the time he could see, he felt something warm trailing across his ear, settling between his ear and jaw, and stroking his chin. It was a hand, someone's hand, someone's thumb. Erwin looked down, images of a motel room running past his eyes, and he locked his eyes with a small black haired man. Erwin would have said something, anything, this silence was agonizing, though it felt like his head was ringing in the back of his brain. Images of a black car, sirens blaring, the Las Vegas strip, a shitty motel, the taste of mint on his tongue. And a hostage, how could he forget that? The name eluded him for a few moments, until his brain made it click together so suddenly he nearly jumped.

Levi.

And he was naked.

            Levi was still cuffed to the bed, his body tangled around Erwin, and his eyes glowing with morning sun. Or was it afternoon? Erwin couldn't tell. There was a long moment where their eyes didn't meet. Levi was kissing his collarbone, and he came to the realisation that he was also naked. Red marks had made their way around Levi's neck and shoulders. Erwin looked down almost paralyzed with shock, his brain twinge to think any more. It was agony to even try remembering what had happened. Levi brought his lips to his ear, huffing hot, mint-vodka scented breath on his skin.

            "You better uncuff me right now, or I'm going to vomit all over you."

            "How romantic." Erwin hissed before he could tell his brain to stop.

            "I'm not joking." and Levi's expression told the truth. Erwin's brain screamed to stop thinking, but he had to try to remember. Where was the key? He dragged his eyes around the room, clothing had been scattered on the floor, underwear as well. He shifted away, swinging his feet off the bed and sitting upright. His mistake. Blood rushed down to his toes and his brain blacked out his vision again. The pain _burned_ and he covered his face, sighing deeply.

            "God... _damn_." He growled, holding his head as if it was fall apart. His own breath still smelt of mint and he slowly got to his knees and onto the floor, feeling around for his pants as the images started to un-blur themselves. He pulled the belt forward, looking around at the motel room.

            "Fucking _hurry up_." Levi hissed, and Erwin tried his damndest to not act like he was hungover. He grabbed the key as quick as he could, climbing back onto the bed, and leaned over, pushing the key into the lock that was on Levi's side instead of the bedpost. Levi looked green in the face, and his other hand was on his stomach. By the time the cuff was off Levi had shot off the bed and collapsed to his knees in the bathroom, and vomited into the toilet.

            "Alcohol makes you sick..." Erwin mumbled, for some reason his brain found that important to say.

            "No fucking shit." Levi hissed as he lifted his head, only to drop back down, a second wave of sickness hitting him and he vomited again. Erwin sat up on the bed, almost in shock, still trying to debate if his brain was lying to him. Images in his head of Levi being so close to him he could smell his skin, everything tasted like mint, and his vision failed him. Sharp pain came down his head, infecting his spine. He opened his eyes, compiling the evidence he needed. He looked down at himself, he was naked, and Levi was too. He looked to Levi, the man stood up from the toilet, and leaned over the sink, rinsing his mouth, and using an almost empty bottle of mouthwash to do the trick. His now freed wrist had been abused, there was cuff marks bruising on his wrist, and his skin was slick, his hair disarrayed with sweat. Erwin blinked a few times, looking down at himself. His body ached, his mind was trying it's best to leave him, but couldn't. Those images of Levi tugging on his cuff came in too clearly, their faces so close he could smell Levi's breath, breathe Levi's air. Sweat collecting on his skin, Levi's mouth was so red and wet and sweet tasting-

            "Don't fucking tell me.." Erwin mumbled.

            "Don't tell you what, lover boy?" Levi hissed, slowly stepping out of the bathroom. Levi was limping, his muscles were tight against his skin. He tilted his head and crawled on top of Erwin, tilting his head. Levi gripped his skull with his slender fingers, and Erwin felt like he'd twist his head off. Instead, he ran his fingers through his hair, messing it up more than it already was. He gave a soft breath against his forehead, hissing softly. Erwin felt his eyelashes flutter closed and he gave a groan.

            "I have to make phone call..." He whispered, pushing Levi back, gradually, as if to not hurt his feelings. Levi scoffed, rolling off of him, and onto the bed.

            "Fine. I'll go shower." Levi looked down and unlocked the handcuffs from the bed. Erwin watched him for a moment. Levi looked over his own bruised wrist, rubbing it a bit, and clicked the handcuffs onto his other hand. Erwin felt he should've said something, but Levi gave him a smirk and he felt his heart stopping when he looked. Levi had a slow pace to the bathroom, trying not to make the limping noticeable. Or maybe he was trying to make it as noticeable as hell, because Erwin couldn't stop noticing. Erwin fumbled around, reaching out for the motel room phone and mashed in the only phone number he knew by heart other than his own. The phone rang twice, and there was an answer.

            "Who is this?" Mike asked, his voice was gruff, and somewhat concerned.

            "Mike it's me- It's Erwin, I'm at a motel." Erwin felt himself panting, his breathing stopped so suddenly he couldn't even get his body to act right. "I'm in Nipton right now."

            "You don't sound good. Did you get rid of the guy?" Mike asked, his voice much more lax when he learned it was Erwin.

            "N-no. Well... no. Um..." Erwin stuttered a few more times, only concerning Mike more. "There's uh... there's a big fucking problem."

            "What problem is it now?" Mike queried.

            "I... I think I fucked him." Erwin mumbled, his eyes turning to the bathroom. Levi had started a shower, and put out his bruised wrist to test the temperature.

            "You did _what_?!" Mike sounded like he had choked on his own spit, and Erwin tensed up at his tone. "What the fuck are you thinking?-" Mike let out a dejected sigh, toning his voice to a quite mumble, whispering. "For the love of God and all things holy, _please_ tell me it was consensual."

            "Of course." Erwin replied, he felt much calmer than he ever had been, considering it was Mike who was yelling. He looked to Levi who was idling through his backpack, picking out his shampoo and conditioner. "Why wouldn't it be consensual?"

            "I don't know, because he's your _goddamn hostage_? What were you thinking? I told you to kill him, not have sex."

            "Oh come on Mike... He's not a hostage, he's just along for the ride." Erwin mumbled. "It was just a simple mistake..." Erwin felt himself stumbling over his words, it was getting hard to talk the more he did it. "It's not that bad."

            That didn't make sense to Mike. Because Erwin never said it wasn't that bad, he never was this calm, he would be freaking out, stressing about his conscious, stressing about his life decisions. Mike only knew that Erwin.

            "Are you drunk?" Mike snapped, he sounded like a disappointed mother, and the two of them definitely knew what that sounded like.

            "I... I kind of..." Erwin mumbled. "I'm a little hung over right now. Yelling kind of hurts."

            "What on earth were you drinking to make you _fuck_ your hostage?" Mike hissed, mostly in complete disbelief.

            "I think... Listerine?" Erwin mumbled, looking to the discarded bottle of mouthwash. "And vodka too..."

            "Erwin- you know what, nevermind." Mike talked quickly, trying to create some sort of way to mediate this mess. "Look, you come out here to Los Angeles and I'll fix up the car, okay? For the love of god, kill the hostage already, I told you twice! We can't risk it! And you call Nile, because he's expecting this car in by tonight. I'm not taking the blame for being late."

            "All right, calm down... I'll do it." Erwin looked down at the revolver on the floor, and back to Levi. He blinked a few times, the man settled on his lap and leaned in close. Erwin nearly dropped the phone, his arm instinctively curled around Levi.

            "We have to go soon, right?" Levi hissed. "Hurry up and shower with me."

            "Uhm..." Erwin mumbled. "I gotta go Mike."

            "Who was that? Is that your hostage?"

            "I'll tell you later." Erwin set the receiver back on the night stand, and pulled the phone cord out of the wall. Levi slipped off his lap, his face staying close as he pulled Erwin's arm towards the bathroom. Erwin followed subconsciously, his body had detached itself from his screaming brain. Levi pulled him into the shower, the water was hot, and it felt good on his muscles. Steam trailed over the room, and there was no window, as Levi had said, the air got heated quickly, and the air was muggy with steam. The shower was small, they were pressed up to each other and Erwin could barely do anything more than stare at Levi.

            "Had a committee meeting about killing me again?" Levi asked, his hands going through his shampoo covered hair. Erwin did nothing but grumble.

            "How'd it go?" Levi asked. "I was wondering how you'd dispose of my body... Were you going to throw it into the ocean out in California coast? I never did learn how to swim." Levi spoke calmly, his hands running over his body, and soon enough, over Erwin's body. His hands drummed against Erwin's collarbone, and he shivered, allowing more of the touching to happen. Levi had a bit of that demented smile, but it wasn't the same when they weren't standing in the moonlight. "Or maybe you could put it in a dumpster and set me on fire? That would be a little obvious though... Burning hair fucking stinks. Burning flesh smells a little bit sweeter though, like a barbeque. Oh, You could cook me too, and just eat the body. I don't think I'd have good meat though. I have wiry muscles. It would be too tough, don't you think?"

            Erwin wasn't really sure how to respond, he wasn't really sure how to do anything. He wasn't even very sure how to shower. Levi was doing everything for him, he grabbed Erwin's neck and motioned him to lean forward in the shower and poured shampoo on his head. He stroked Erwin's skin almost lovingly, teasing his ears, calmly running his fingers into his scalp. Erwin gave a soft sigh and shut his eyes. He knew he was crazy to even think he could trust Levi, but he couldn't see why not. Levi continued to make the same humming noise in the back of his throat, scrubbing Erwin's hair.

            "Oh, I know. You could just cut me up into little pieces and shove me down the garbage disposal. You could get one of those electric knives for cutting turkeys on Thanksgiving. No one would suspect a thing."

            "Can we not talk about this?" Erwin asked, sighing softly as some stray soap got in his mouth.

            "Why? It's going to happen isn't it? I just want to plan it out for you. A nice little schedule for your day." Levi replied. "You said "I'll kill you tomorrow." And it's tomorrow isn't it? So today is my last day."

            "The more you talk the less I want to do it." Erwin mumbled.

            "Come on, it's easy. Just one bullet to the head and I go out like a light. Unless you want to make me suffer. I said you can cut me up into little pieces and stuff me in the garbage disposal, that doesn't mean I have to be dead when it happens-"

            "Levi _stop_ please. You're gonna make me sick." Erwin hissed. Levi clicked his tongue, pushing Erwin back once he had rinsed all the shampoo away.

            "Oh come on, you're getting your dick hard about killing me, least you could do is let me jerk you off." Levi hissed, now lathering conditioner in his hair.

            "I don't _want_ to kill you." Erwin grumbled. "It's just.. I have to."

            "Oh? Isn't that funny? You'd throw me out in the desert if I didn't call the cops, and surely I would have died out there if you did. But you didn't care then did you? Shove your dick in me and suddenly you get feelings. Isn't that pathetic? It's like cars, we get inside them, drive it around a little bit and suddenly we just feel like we own them." Levi replied, his eyes scanning Erwin's skin. "I already asked you to kill me, what's the big deal?"

            Erwin let a thought click in his mind, it seemed stupid, every thought was stupid when he was hungover, but he decided to voice, against his better judgement.

            "I'll kill you when this is over." He replied. "You wanted to see this to the end right? So I'll take you as far as I can, and then I'll kill you, probably in Long Beach."

            "Oh, don't spare the dirty details, you've been edging me all night. How will you do it? Where will you do it? Can't you at least describe it to me?"

            "I'd rather not."

            "Do it anyway. I'm dying, can't you give me what I want?"

            "I'd shoot you in Long Beach and throw you in a trash can. Happy?"

            "No. Can't you get a single detail in there? You'd be horrible at telephone sex." Levi sighed softly, and leaned back. "I guess when you want something done you have to do it yourself."

            "Are you referring to suicide or masturbation?" Erwin asked, looking down at the man. Levi looked to him once he resurfaced from the spray of the shower, and chuckled softly.

            "I'm not too sure at the moment." Levi responded calmly, and slipped out of the shower. Erwin looked over himself, quickly scrubbing off, conditioning his hair before turning the shower off and stepping out. Levi was already back in his backpack, pulling out more clothes. As Erwin got closer he immediately zipped it back up, locking it.

            "Well, I get to see this too the end then. Right? What should I wear? I figure I always wanted to wear something comfortable when I die."

            "Look... Levi, I don't want to kill you. I really don't. I ju-"

            "Fine. I'll pick it out myself." Levi broke into Erwin's words, he didn't want to hear Erwin's backing out. "And I'm starving. I've vomited nearly everything I've eaten this weekend. Can we eat somewhere?"

            "No. We need to leave quickly. I don't want to be here any longer than we have to."

            "Are you kidding me? It's like I'm not even dying in your eyes." Levi snapped. "Final request while I'm on death row?"

            "We can talk about it later-"

            "Is there going to be a later?"

            Erwin sighed sharply. His head still had a twinge of pain, and it was getting irritating to talk so much. "Yes, there will be a later, I said I'll let you see the end of this. So it ends in Long Beach. For now, we're not going to eat," Erwin huffed. "I'm not hungry at the moment."

            "That doesn't mean I'm not hungry, you stupid fuck." Levi snapped, slipping a black long sleeve shirt on.

            "It doesn't matter. I have a job to do." Erwin began to button his shirt quickly, something he was glad he mastered doing with one hand. He used his mouth to bite down on his right sleeve, and tied it with one hand, keeping the knot secure. He sat down, slipping on his underwear, pulling them up his slightly damp legs. The hotel towels were piteous, they barely wiped him off. He shifted down, placing his pants back on, and struggled with the button as he tried to zip it up. Levi's hands came down on his own, and pushed him away.

            "You missed a button." Levi mumbled. Erwin looked down at where Levi's hands were, noting he was correct, he had buttoned his shirt improperly. Erwin looked up at the man, shifting back on the bed. Levi's fingers quickly undid his button work, much faster than Erwin could ever do, even though he had worked so hard to be independent. There was a small moment, where Erwin remembered Mike buttoning his shirt for him, but those days seemed a long time ago. Erwin was starting to hate his brain for all the stupid thoughts he was getting.  Levi began to smooth out his shirt, fixing his collar, and his hands gently stayed on his neck, the cuff resting on his shoulder.

            "It's hard, isn't it? Being independent? It seems we need two of everything." Levi mumbled, leaning over him. "A human being just can't seem to function without another human being. We need copies of ourselves. That's the ugly truth independent people try to avoid, right? We need to see how our bodies are similar." Levi looked down, his hands had trailed from Erwin's neck down to his arms, touching his right arm, tugging the empty sleeve. He leaned in, pressing his cheek against Erwin's right shoulder, his face was so close. Warm breath hit his neck, teasing his ear when Levi spoke.

            _"How our bodies are different."_

            Erwin pushed the man back, standing up quickly, and looked down at Levi. The glow of his eyes still set fire to Erwin's skin. He looked away, trying to gather his thoughts enough to act braver than Levi. He knew he couldn't, his head still throbbed, and even if he wasn't hung over, Erwin didn't think there was a single thing in the world that was like Levi. He stepped back, his eyes drifting to the door.

            "We're going."

            "I could tell." Levi stepped back, looking down at the ground. He grabbed his backpack, slinging it over his shoulder. Erwin looked around, picking up his belt, and clipping it to himself. He followed bits of broken glass on the floor over to the revolver, which was still abandon. The sun had warmed the silver metal, and Erwin could feel how warm it was, how alive the gun felt. He placed it back into it's holster, and turned, looking to Levi. The other man stood by the door, peering outside, his eyes glowing.

            "Having second thoughts about me killing you?" Erwin asked.

            "No." Levi replied. "But there's two police men at the front desk."

            Erwin froze up, looking out towards the door. Levi was calm as always, and he opened the door wide, pointing  to the front desk area. Erwin walked over, looking out the door, he could see two police men, standing at the desk, talking to a young woman, different from last night's worker.

            "Well." the lady hummed. "I haven't seen any fancy cars... but my boss said last night two guys came in from Vegas."

            "Shit." Erwin snapped. "This can't be happening. Those guys know."

            "I guess Hanji must've told the cops." Levi huffed, and rolled his eyes. "What an idiot. I was having fun." he sighed softly. "She must think I'm dead."

            "I'm sure I would assume the same thing." Erwin remarked. "We'll just stay inside, and try not to get noti-"

            "What are you two working on?" Levi had suddenly stepped outside of the motel room, and leaned in slightly. He walked over to the cops, his hands stuffed in his pockets , hiding the handcuffs. The two officers, a tall burly blonde man, and a shorter skinny man with a shaven head.

            "It's none of your business." the scrawny man snapped.

            "Connie calm down." the taller blonde growled.

            "Levi, What the hell are you doing?" Erwin hissed.

            "That's them!" the woman pointed to Erwin and Levi, "That's the two from Vegas."

            "What's the problem?" Levi asked closing the gap between them. Erwin took a good look around the motel room, knowing nothing was left behind, and stepped out with Levi, following him. "Did something happen?"

            The taller cop stepped forward, flashing a Los Angeles police department badge. "Sir my name is Reiner Braun, I want to ask you two a few questions."

            "Ask away." Levi replied calmly.

            "Levi..." Erwin mumbled, looking down at him.

            "What?" Levi looked to Erwin, raising his brow. "All they want to do is ask questions."

            Erwin sighed, his hands trembled and his head ached, if there was any moment in his life where Erwin didn't want to answer questions, this would be it. Reiner stepped forward, his belt jingling with handcuffs and a gun. Erwin tensed. Levi gave a flat look to the muscular cop.

            "Ask away." Levi repeated.

            "Sir late last night in Las Vegas, a lady was found handcuffed on the side of the road, next to one of their stolen vehicles. A few minutes beforehand they received a call from a man saying that he had been taken hostage. Originated in Las Vegas, but we've been led to believe the kidnapper crossed the state line and might be in this town, so they called us down here."

            "Really? Crazy motherfuckers nowadays, huh?" Levi replied.

            The cop didn't seem to care about Levi's question, he just shrugged his muscular shoulders and looked down at him. "Is it true you two came in from Las Vegas?"

            "Yeah." Levi replied. "We had a funeral to go to. We're trying to get home now." Levi stepped closer, looking to Erwin, hoping the cops followed his eyes. "His dad died. He's been a little drunk lately, so he's not really open to questions right now."

            The skinner cop named Connie backed up a bit, looking to Reiner. Reiner raised his brow, straightening his back out and tilting his head until the bones in his neck popped. He gave a nod as if the two were communicating silently.

            "We understand. Sorry to be bothering you."

            "Ah, don't be sorry. It's part of your job isn't it? Shitty huh? You get a call at some ungodly fuckin hour, and who is it? The damn FBI telling you to go run around town looking for clowns they _think_ might be there." Levi huffed, folding his arms. "Then you gotta deal with a bunch of shitty people who don't have time to spare, because no one does these days, and you just searching around aimlessly and for what? Criminals that the FBI gets credit for catching." Erwin decided not to say anything, he wasn't sure what the hell Levi was talking about anymore, and his head was throbbing in pain. He leaned back, rubbing his chin, looking to the floor, trying to act as if he was almost sad.

            "Well you two wouldn't happen to have seen anything while you were in Vegas, huh?" Connie asked.

            "No, we did hear sirens when we were leaving the Las Vegas strip, but it's hard to tell, it could have been anything at the moment. What with all the crime going on." Levi added, shrugging his shoulders. He shook his head, Erwin mimicked him, just to sell the whole look.

            "Well..." Reiner looked over them for a moment. "Sorry for wasting your time."

            "Relax officer, we all have to do jobs we don't like sometimes." Levi replied. "People just don't realise how to treat you guys right. Especially when the FBI get involved with kidnapping and stuff. They never seem to get off the cops ass."

            "You seem to know a good amount about police work." Reiner commented, raising his brow.

            "Yeah, my dad was a cop." Levi tacked on, shrugging again.

            "Seems like all our dads are cops. Well, I guess that's all there is then." Reiner turned to Connie. "Let's try the couple in the next rooms." the two walked down the hallway, both had a walking pattern similar to their personality. Connie tried to walk tough looking, thumbs out of his pockets, real comfortable with himself. Reiner simply walked tough, his muscles were a threat all on their own, and his gaze was like lasers.

            "Let's get the fuck out of here." Erwin hissed, grabbing Levi's arm.

            "Shut it." Levi nodded his head to the cops.

            _"Are you sure we should let them go Reiner?"_ Connie asked, keeping his voice low, though it bounced off the walls. "They said the lady described the carjacker as a blond man and the kidnapped man was a short black haired guy."

            Reiner whipped his head around to give the two one last look. Levi leaned back against Erwin, and he looked down at Levi a bit puzzled. Erwin knew to look away, so the cop didn't see them listening.

            "Nah, can't be them. Those two look too close to each other." Reiner replied, it was hard to hear the men the farther away they walked. "Besides, no way in hell a carjacker has only one arm."

            Levi gave a scoff, and leaned back even more, pulling his hands out of his pockets, the handcuffs jingling. Erwin fought the smirk on his face, and he shook his head, turning away. People were always judgemental, and that was Erwin's only upper hand on the situation. Never did he think losing his arm would save his life, but life just seemed to be flipping him upside-down at the moment.

            Levi approached the counter, and checked them out of the motel. The woman there was a short brunette with a ponytail, and little education from what the two could tell. Or maybe Erwin was just judging people differently now, everyone seemed so idiotic to him, they seemed unenlightened. Normal people. People who stayed up late reading books, watching sitcoms, drinking booze, trying pot _only one time_ because it was human condition. People who milled around with friends and loved ones, trying to find a place in a world that didn't need them. Yes, everyone seemed this way now, and Erwin hated himself for thinking that way.

            _"Yeah, I know right?"_ The girl was on the phone, speaking pretty loudly, as if she never knew how to speak differently. Levi placed the key on the counter, and the girl was so consumed with her conversation, she would never remember that the cops had said the kidnapped man's name was "Levi" which was exactly the same name as the man checking out. She never would notice, because she would probably never care about Levi. Normal people only talked about other people, never cared about them, if they cared, they would lose their minds.

            "Okay okay, I know right? The news has been crazy lately." she continued as Levi pulled Erwin along, Levi didn't care about what the girl had to say, but she said something that made him curious. "Can you believe? I mean, if Rico was honest about what they said last night, they're really freaky. She said she couldn't even think straight with all the noise they made last night." the girl leaned in, and whispered into the phone, as if Levi and Erwin couldn't hear. "How kinky do you have to be to go to a BDSM club after your own father's funeral?"

            Erwin wasn't sure he could ever show his face in this town again, and if he did, it would be in true desperation. He wasn't even sure which lie was which, and how Levi had even come up with them. Erwin looked down at his shirt which he hadn't tucked in yet, and was glad he hadn't, now that he noticed his revolver was still strapped there, hidden under the shirt tail. He decided against tucking in his shirt. He felt unclean, he may as well look it. Erwin looked down at Levi, who was walking towards the parking garage. Erwin felt a knot in his stomach at the thought, those cops probably would have stopped them dead if they saw it, and they needed to leave before they did.

            "You're real good at lying, huh?" Erwin asked, trying to keep himself calm.

            "It's not that difficult. You just have to learn what makes people fuck off." Levi replied. "And I mastered making people fuck off."

            "You certainly seemed to know what to say." Erwin remarked, looking towards the motel, wondering what would be going on between the people that worked there.

            "It's easy. Two things happen every day that we don't talk about in public. It's sex and dying. We try to avoid it when we're in public. Try to pretend it doesn't exist. It's too personal. So when some fucker starts talking about BDSM or my dead dads funeral, people clear the fuck out." Levi shrugged his shoulders. "Rats are ugly, so people clear out when they see them, once that happens you can take all the things you want."

            "You've got a lot going on in your head, don't you?" Erwin commented, scratching his chin as he adjusted his shirt.

            "We all do. I just don't think the way everyone tells me I should. Be happy. Keep living. Just relax." Levi hissed. "While you're at it just stop fucking thinking. We build barriers around ourselves, because we can't handle this shit. We can't handle the _"Oh god, I'm going to die."_ mentality. We don't want to die. Most of us anyway."

            "I guess I'm most people." Erwin remarked once they rounded the Bugatti. When he opened the door, he winced a bit. It still smelt like vomit and alcohol, and it didn't help that the sun had been beating down on the car. Erwin climbed in, rolling down the windows. Levi sat down calmly, he didn't seem very concerned about the smell of vomit. So Erwin in turn tried to adjust to him.

            "So your dad really was a cop?" Erwin asked, tilting his head back as the engine purred, and he closed himself in, taking the car out of the garage as fast as possible.

            Levi scoffed.

            "I don't know who my fucking dad is." he hissed. "And I don't care."

            The car was silent, and the two coppers were busy talking with motel patrons to see a black Bugatti Veyron barrelling down the highway. Goodbye Nipton. You wouldn't be missed. Erwin wondered if Levi was lying, about his father, about anything really. The more he thought about it, the more he thought maybe he was getting too personal for Levi's comfort. He realised the whole reason he was in this mess was because he started answering questions when Levi asked, so he decided against asking anything else.

            Erwin's mind buzzed with activity, and it was making his headache even worse. The alcohol in his system told him not to think, the brain in his head was screaming at him for drinking, and his heart was pumping fast at the thought of cops searching for him. It wasn't like Erwin wasn't used to this. He had been in the paper, he had stolen famous people's cars, he had stolen from the rich, and gave to the richer. Sedans, Porches, Lamborghinis, Bugattis, Rolls-Royces, you name it, Erwin had stolen it. He had never been found. People trusted him. That made him feel untouchable. So seeing the cops asking around for him made him nearly petrified with shock. And escaping made him feel like a criminal, as much as it made him feel alive.

            "You're really getting off on this."

            "W-what?" Erwin turned his head, and felt Levi pressing his head against his shoulder.

            "You're breathing fast. Is it making you hard?" Levi hissed, and  brought his chin closer, Erwin could feel his breath on his neck again. Erwin looked away, realising he was going nearly 200 kph down the road. He gave a shuddering breath, his hand was getting clammy, his blood pressure was rising, Levi was right, he was on edge, his breathing was short and fast. Erwin swallowed thickly, shrugging his shoulders.

            "You're going fast. Don't get too excited, this trip will be over before it even began." Levi hissed in his ear, his breath against Erwin's ear made him shudder again. His hand was slowly coming over Erwin's chest, and if he still had his right arm, he had a feeling he would be shoving Levi away. But he couldn't at the moment, and to be truthful, he didn't want to. Erwin was at Levi's mercy, his hands were drifting over his shirt, and plucking the buttons open, nuzzling his skin. Erwin felt the hair on the back of his neck standing up. His body shuddered again.

            "You get off on this, huh?" Levi jeered, his fingers trailing over a scar on Erwin's chest, one that reached his collarbone. Levi pressed his lips to his neck, and trailed down, following the scars. "Would you be jerking off now? If you still had your right hand?"

            "I told you, I don't get off on fast cars." Erwin huffed.

            "I know. It's obvious." Levi was unbuttoning more of Erwin's shirt, and he shifted around a bit, feeling the button on his pants getting unbuttoned too. "You get off on being a criminal."

            Erwin stiffened in his seat, looking to Levi. Levi was kissing down his chest, kissing his abdomen, making soft wet noises and driving him crazy. He was right. Erwin got off on being a criminal. And he didn't realise it until now. He had never done much as a child, as a teenager, everything was serious, smoking pot in the bathroom felt like some sort of giddy rush. Drinking in the high school parking lot, trying not to act drunk. The military could never set him straight, he had done cocaine during infantry training for fucks sake. Being above the law was something like an addiction, it really did get him off.

            Levi pressed his hand against Erwin's groin, hard. Erwin snapped away from his thoughts and nearly threw himself back in his seat.

            "What the hell are you doing?" Erwin huffed, his breathing ragged.

            "Just helping you get off." Levi replied, rubbing his fingers over his crotch. "I know old men like you need help."

            "I'm not old." Erwin hissed.

            "Of course. None of us are. We're all going to live forever, right?" Levi replied. Erwin could feel his hand snaking into his underwear, pulling his member out. Erwin opened his mouth to say something, and before he could even look down, Levi had already brought his mouth straight down on his member.

            Erwin slammed on the breaks, Levi clawed at Erwin's arm to brace himself as he was thrown on top of the steering wheel.

            "What the fuck are you doing?" Erwin panted, his hand coming to push Levi. Levi grabbed Erwin's arm and pinned it down, using his other to pull himself over Erwin. He coughed for air after having the wind knocked out of him, and glared at Erwin.

            "You try to do someone a favour and they just break your fucking neck." Levi hissed, his voice rough from all the air leaving him, Levi dropped his head against Erwin's chest.

            "I don't need you to suck me off." Erwin hissed. "I'm busy at the moment."

            "Multi-task then." Levi snapped, and before Erwin could do any more he dropped his head down onto his lap, running his tongue against his hardened shaft. Erwin shivered, initially paralyzed by the sensation.

            "You're already hard as a rock. Don't you want some help?" Levi teased, his hand wrapping around the base, and slowly started to tighten, stroking slowly. Erwin grimaced a bit, his hand dropping down on Levi's hair as he wrapped his lips around the head, sucking hard.

            "I don't need help." Erwin hissed.

            "Stop acting so fucking independent." Levi hissed against his cock, and Erwin struggled to stop himself from moaning. He tensed up, his shoulders squared as he felt Levi sucking slowly, his tongue was so wet, and the inside of his mouth was hot.

            "Stop that... I'm busy..." Erwin mumbled, but he didn't want to. He didn't want it to stop. It felt good. But it wasn't his job to feel good, he needed this car in or he was going to be late, and being late meant Nile being pissed, and-  
            "Just fucking relax." Levi snapped. And Erwin did. He tried at least, he just tried to stop thinking about anything. Levi pressed a wet kiss to his abdomen, his tongue trailing down, his hand working around the base of his cock. "We can't do every fucking thing by ourselves." he hissed, his breath was warm, really warm, and Erwin felt his body aching for more. And Levi gave him that. Erwin didn't know if Levi ever knew what modesty was, and he certainly wasn't showing it. Levi sucked and licked, playing with the head with his tongue as his shaft got hard. Erwin groaned, his hand came down on Levi's head and ran through a fistful of well-conditioned hair. Levi's tongue teased and slicked the tip of his member, playing with the slit, driving Erwin crazy. Erwin gripped down on his hair, groaning as he grinded his teeth to stop his moaning.

            "Hand on the wheel." Levi hissed over his cock, turning his head slightly. "We're on a tight schedule, right?" He dropped his head back down, his soft wet mouth was driving Erwin mad. Somehow Erwin found it in him to let go of Levi's hair and push down on the gas pedal. He was still on the road, and they still had a destination. And _god damnit_ \- he couldn't think for a second about anything else other than how good Levi's lips felt, how his tongue worked, how hot it felt. Levi grunted and mumbled, his mouth vibrated around Erwin's cock. He teased the tip a bit more, Erwin watched the sticky pre-come coating his Levi's reddish-pink lips. He ran his tongue over Erwin's tip again, and his body trembled. His grip on the wheel was so tight it was starting to show marks in the leather.

            "Fuck." He snapped, pushing his hips back, trying to move away from Levi. "Fucking damnit.."

            "Mhhn..." Levi moaned again as if he was responding, but all it did was send harder vibrations up his spine. Erwin couldn't help snapping his hips upwards into Levi's mouth.

            "Fuck- Sorry I-" Erwin's mind rushed an apology out of his mouth before Levi exhaled around his cock, and started to deepthroat him. Erwin nearly slammed on the gas pedal this time, he was trying to stop jerking the car around, but it was so hard to think straight. Levi gasped a few more times, panting for air hotly, his body shuddering as he lapped at Erwin's cock, his tongue running around the shaft hungrily. He  brought Erwin as far into his mouth as he could allow, and Erwin groaned.

            "Fuck, fuck- Levi..." He mumbled, looking around them. The road was slowly diverging, intersecting, they weren't in scenic fucking nowhere anymore. There were more cars on the freeway, and Erwin felt his face flushing red. The car was full of sounds of Levi sucking and licking and panting. Levi lifted his head.

            "Keep driving." he grumbled, his voice was low and rasped.

            "Nnhg.." Erwin grunted a response, his teeth gritting together. It was so goddamn hard to focus. Levi's mouth was making such hot noises, and his hips instinctively pushed into his mouth. Levi swallowed around his cock, and he dropped his head forward and moaned, his body shuddered. "You're really fucking good..." Erwin hissed in his ear, and peered over the steering wheel, trying to at least pretend he was focusing on what the hell he was doing. Levi moaned again in response. It was torture, and Erwin loved it.

            Levi had no decency at his work, he growled and moaned and sucked and swallowed around Erwin's cock, trying to deepthroat it as best as he could. Levi would pull off for air, and looked up at Erwin for a second his eyes lit up.

            "You're too... god damn big..." Levi coughed, breathing hot against his cock. "Fucking cum already.." Erwin groaned as his lips teased the crown of his cock, and his tongue, aggressive and wet started teasing the slit. Erwin was trying to hold himself back, he couldn't think straight, and it was getting worse by the second. Levi dropped his head down again, Erwin felt the head of his cock shoved into the back of his throat and he grunted, shoving his elbow down on Levi's head, struggling for any control as he came into Levi's mouth. Levi groaned, gripping the side of the seat and Erwin's torso for support. His tongue massaged the underside, coaxing him more and more. Erwin kept his eyes closed, his body shuddering all over. He leaned forward, his teeth sinking into his hand to stop himself from moaning, and his hand pressed to the wheel, trying to pretend he could multitask at the moment.

            He panted, and groaned, Levi continued to tease him after his hazy orgasm until he couldn't think straight. Levi swallowed a few times, making his head dizzy, and slowly he felt Levi pull off, panting and giving small hiccups of coughs as he wiped his lips. He slowly pressed Erwin's cock back into his underwear, even zipping and buttoning his pants, and kissed his way up his chest. Erwin shuddered, looking around, there was two cars in front of him, and three behind, and they must've thought he was fucking crazy from all the speeding and breaking he was doing. Levi kissed his neck quietly, resting his head on his shoulder. Levi leaned in, and hissed against his ear.

            "Now can I get something to actually fucking eat?"

            _Real romantic._ Erwin thought.

            The two stopped in Riverside.

Erwin didn't want to stop when he left Nipton, he wanted to go straight to Los Angeles, but now he couldn't bring himself to give a damn. He was still hazy, and an orgasm seemed to have cured his hangover. Riverside was near Hollywood, and full of wannabes and second rate fashionistas. People who would gladly tell you, even if you didn't ask, about how they starred in a movie scene where they stood behind the main star getting coffee. Or was in the scene where the actress drove down the street. They would gladly show you a clip of such scene on their phones. The people would criticize your choice of clothes, and sit in the corner, typing away what they swore would be the next great screenplay.

            Erwin and Levi sat next to each other, in a booth, the other side of the table stayed empty. Neither of them questioned why they weren't sitting facing each other, they just didn't want to. Levi would run his hand over Erwin's wrist, play with the button on his sleeve, lean on him and shift a bit. The two were still somewhat mellow, post-orgasmic hazes weren't supposed to last this long, but Erwin wasn't questioning it.

            The diner was booths or tables, it had chrome finishing and vintage posters from the 40's of travel destinations, Hawaii, Tahiti, Belize, mostly people dressed in old swimsuits and sundresses, smiling. The posters had turned an ugly blue from the sun beating down on it through the window. The waiters wore white and red striped shirts and smiled and laughed far too much. The counter was sticky, the seats were ripped up, uncomfortable. A real run down Americana diner. Food came quick, and was poorly cooked, but who cared, it was ambiance, right? Erwin pressed his lips to his second cup of coffee; a lot of sugar, no cream. Levi was in the middle of shoving half a burger down his throat in one go, while trying to drink some cola at the same time.

            When Levi came up for air, meaning he stopped shoving a burger down his throat to eat French fries, a shady looking man came in with sunglasses and a hoodie, and at the same moment, Erwin's cellphone went off. The man sighed, setting his coffee down slowly, and reached down into his pocket to pull out his phone. No Caller ID.

            "Damn it." Erwin huffed. "It's Nile." It was a gamble to say such a thing, but Erwin only had two people that called him, and it was Mike, and Nile. Nile usually called with one of his five hidden cellphone numbers, but if he was trying to lay low, it would be from a one way calling system. Erwin sighed after the fifth ring, and finally answered the phone.

            "Nile?" he asked, Erwin felt little patience for Nile at the moment.  
            "No. This is Marlowe Freudenberg. One of the members of the United Corporation of National Security."

            "I remember you. You're the Unicorns guy." Erwin huffed, leaning back in his chair. Marlowe Freudenberg was something along the lines of Nile's right hand man, but he acted more like a servant. He trusted Nile, he adored Nile, and sadly, he actually believed in him. Unicorns was the shortened term for "United Corporations of National Security." Uni.Cor.N.S. would be the correct abbreviation, but it wasn't like it made much sense anyway. The only reason that it got shortened that way was the company logo was a green and white unicorn. Marlowe seemed to truly believe that there was a way to justify the Unicorns clauses, that they did what they did, for the good of the people. He never really realised that the bad they had done outweighed the good a thousand times over, because as much as he did for Nile, Nile never trusted him back. Nile had never really told him any of the awful things he did, Marlowe barely even knew that Erwin was his professional car thief, even till now, Marlowe figured Erwin was just a friend.

            "What is it Marlowe?" Erwin huffed, wondering what the boy had to say.

            "Well, Nile has been fairly busy lately, and considering his busy schedule this week, he's been wondering if you will be arriving at Long Beach any time soon." Marlowe tried to explain calm and orderly.

            "I'll be there soon enough." Erwin replied.

            "Yes... um..." Marlowe sounded nervous, Erwin knew Nile must've been in the room with him. "Well, can't you be more specific?"

            "Soon." Erwin huffed. Marlowe mumbled something nervously, but he found himself caring less and less about anything that had to do with Nile.

            "Well, I suppose, it's just-"

            "Will you- will you stop?" Nile's voice cut off Marlowe and Erwin could hear a hand coming down to strike the other man as Nile ripped the phone out of Marlowe's grip. Erwin leaned back in his chair, and sighed softly. "Give me that damn thing." Nile hissed. "Go on, get out of my office."

            "Nile." Erwin huffed.

            "Where the fuck have you been? You said the car would come in tomorrow!" Nile screamed, his hand coming down to slam on his desk. Erwin could imagine it, sleek redwood desk, with a stupid looking bonsai tree and little zen garden. Littered with paperwork, never done by Nile, but always credited for it. Of course redwoods were endangered, but it was just one tiny desk, so what harm could that be? That was basically Nile's mentality. If it was for Nile Dawk, it couldn't hurt anyone, right?

            "It'll be in today. There was a change in plans." Erwin replied, his tone became cool.

            "It better fucking be in today. I'm not going to be here any other day of this month." Nile snapped. "Tell your buddy Mike that I want the damn thing chromed gold. I need it to be hidden for a little while. I would be fine with it just being refurbished if some fucker didn't get on the goddamn news."

            "I was on the news?" Erwin asked, he only felt a little amused by the idea.

            "Well _someone_ stole a fucking Bugatti in Vegas. And what's this thing about a hostage?" Nile hissed. "If any of this shit is true I'm stiffing your pay again for a few months."

            Erwin rolled his eyes, but he sucked in a breath, trying not to sigh at Nile in disgust. He looked to Levi, who had slowed his eating down to watch Erwin talk on the phone. Erwin turned his head, looking out the window at the Bugatti Veyron. " I guess there must be two car thieves, because there's no hostage with me. The car will be at the parking garage by this evening."

            "You're goddamn right it will be." Nile snapped and hung up. Erwin sighed, putting his phone back into his pocket and sighing softly.

            "He's really got you by the balls, huh?" Levi remarked, taking a large sip of cola again.

            "I don't want to talk about him." Erwin huffed. "Me and Mike always wished we could do something big and just screw him over. It doesn't matter though. He's got enough money to pay off all of LAPD and still have enough to launder over to the Cayman Islands. Now he's just fucking us every chance he gets."

            "Of course." Levi replied. "You can't just do something big to a big guy like Nile. You have to do little things." he brought his cola down, and turned his head. "You know. A Rolls Royce goes missing. A nice little China teapot gets broken. His favourite pens are all gone." Levi gripped his fingers around the empty handcuff not attached to his wrist. "That's just for fucking with him, then you get personal. Fuck with his life. Ruin it. His kids get ill, the family dog dies, the mom is going crazy because all the bullshit and where's the dad? No-fucking-where. You don't even have to touch him. Stress keeps building and people are stupid, they don't come together and survive, no, fuck that, ever man, woman, and child for themselves. The billionaire mentality. Force him into a divorce. He loses half of shit he had been building his whole life. And you know what? You didn't have to pull a single gun."

            Erwin listened intently to the idea, and it sounded very similar to the one Mike had told him a long time ago. Mike was much more of a subtle man, that's why he did so well and got nearly no credit. The whole idea seemed like such a process, but worth it if it could

            "How would you even start to do something like that?" Erwin huffed.

            "You're the car stealer aren't you? Liberate something back." Levi replied. "It can't be that damn difficult."

            "I guess it wouldn't be. But it's so small Nile would even notice it."

            "That's what I fucking said." Levi snapped. "Goliath didn't notice the tiny little pebble until it fucking killed him, right? Pay more attention to details."

            Levi turned his head, at the same moment the man who walked in earlier asked where the bathroom was. The waitress flashed a smile and pointed to the left of the booths. Levi sighed, watching the man step out of his chair, pulling his hoodie up a bit.

            "I'm about to get kidnapped again, so relax." Levi hissed.

            "What?" Erwin looked down at Levi, confused. Levi shrugged his shoulders, and tilted his head back. His expression looked almost amused.

            In a flash a hand darted over Levi's mouth and pulled him out of his seat, into the aisle. It was the man in the hoodie, gripping his mouth tightly, and brought a gun to his temple. Erwin jumped out of his seat, his hand balling into a fist. He didn't know what to do, but he was reacting before anything else happened. The man brought the gun away from Levi's face towards Erwin.

            "Fuck off or I blow his head all over the floor!" the man screamed, his hoodie fell, his glowing yellow eyes shining brightly. He had shaggy blonde hair, and a brown undercut. Levi rolled his eyes, turning his head to Erwin. Erwin froze up, examining the threat, and unclenched his fist.

            "This is a robbery!" he snapped, pulling Levi back. "Wh-where's the fucking manager? I want all the cash in the safe!"

            "This is really stupid." Levi mumbled between the man's fingertips.

            "Shut up! Shut the fuck up!" the man screamed, pressing the gun into his hair, and down to Levi's cheek. Levi gave the gun a good look, and gave a suppressed chuckle.

            "What's so fucking funny?" The robber snapped, his hand snaking down Levi's face, gripping Levi's throat tighter.

            "Turn the fucking safety off. For the love of god." Levi replied, Levi brought his hand up to the one covering his mouth.

            "T-the what!?" the man snapped.

            "The safety you fucktard." Levi growled. "The little button on the handle. It's white." Levi turned his head, gesturing to it. "For fuck sake don't you Hollywood idiots know how to use a goddamn gun?"

            The man was trembling, he stuttered a few words out from his lips and lifted the gun to the ceiling, and clicked the small button from white to red. The gun fired a violent loud bang right next to Levi's ear. His eyes widened for a moment and he slumped, losing his balance. Levi's eardrum popped from the noise. The robber looked afraid, seeing Levi slumping he felt for a second that he might have accidentally fired into his head.

            "F-fuck!" the man stuttered.

            "Keep your fucking finger off the trigger, idiot!" Levi snapped. "Put it on the metal bit in front." the man jumped the more Levi ordered him around, but he did as he was told, placing his finger on the metal in front of the trigger.

            "There you fucking go." Levi replied. "Now you're ready to kill civilians and steal money."

            "Sh-shut the fuck up." the man stuttered, his voice deflating to a weak tremor. Erwin felt his muscles relaxing, Levi looked so calm, and he almost felt like laughing at how ridiculous this was. Levi sighed softly, grunting as he tried to lift himself back to his feet.

            "My fucking ear is bleeding." Levi snapped, his hand brushing his side where blood leaked out of his ear.

            "S-shit... f-fuck." The robber cursed. "I.. I'm sorry."

            "Oh come on! Shove the fucking gun in my ear! We're robbing a fucking store aren't we?" the robber was petrified by Levi's words. "This is an intimate thing, murder. Don't you think?" Erwin was starting to get worried, Levi was getting ballsy, and he didn't want the robber to shoot his head accidentally again. Erwin pulled out his revolver, and pointed it to the robber.

            "Drop the gun, right now!" Erwin snapped, and held the gun to the man's face. The robber was turning pale white, he looked like he was going to be sick. He jumped away from Levi, dropping the gun as well, accidentally firing it into the table between them.

            "F-fuck fuck, don't kill me please!" the robber was on his knees, he was on the verge of crying the whole ordeal. And now, begging, there were already tears dripping down his face. "I wasn't going to kill him I swear!" he stuttered, snivelling like a child.  Erwin couldn't care about the pathetic display. He looked to Levi, who wobbled a little when the robber let go of him. His balance still felt off and he held the side of his face, groaning slightly from the pain echoing in his head.

            "Levi." Erwin mumbled, and reached out to him. Levi snapped his hand forward, slapping Erwin away.

            "Oh god you're all fucking _pathetic_." Levi snapped, he twisted around and picked the robber up by his hoodie, choking him tightly. "Sorry, love to dick around, but we're on a tight schedule." Levi brought the force of his arm to twist the material around, suffocating the man, and dragged him over to a wall, slamming his face into it. The robbed cried out, a popping noise emitting from his nose. Blood poured out of his nostrils, and he cried out in pain, crumpling to the floor. Levi wasn't done. He laid the robber down flat on his back, and gripped his shoulders. Erwin had never seen someone move so fluidly. Levi flipped himself upright, doing something like a handstand on the man's shoulders, and brought the full force of his bodyweight to his knee, and into the man's face. Levi moved so quickly the move was delivered in a blurry half-second. Erwin could only watch the man twisting, and bringing his knee out towards the robbers face as Levi threw his body down. There was a painful cracking noise, and Erwin winced, it was so loud he could feel it.

            There was a loud wailing moan that came from the man's face. His lips were split, his nose broken, blood coming from his orifices, dripping all over his teeth. Levi sighed softly, he had a grisly look on his face and he rose up from his kneeling position. Blood smeared all over Levi's black pants. Levi put his foot on the man's shoulder, assured that there would be a bruise there soon.

            "Now listen to me fucker. I pretty sure I broke your neck. If you turn your head around too much, you're dead. Got it?" Levi hissed in his ear.

            "Uh-huhhnn..." the man bubbled out from his lips, coughing up bits of a broken tooth.

            "The _only_ person who gets to kill me, is that fucker-" Levi pointed to Erwin, his teeth grinding together. "Or I do it myself! Don't you ever fucking touch me again!"

            The robber was probably trying to nod, but his neck blossomed in agony and another wailing moan tore from his lips. Levi sighed, brushing his hair back. He stepped over the body and looked to the group of waitresses and waiters, as well as the patrons. The whole restaurant had donned a face of horror, first at the robber, but now fully invested in the horrific blow Levi had delivered to the robber. Levi rolled his eyes, seeing the looks of horror on their faces, the faces of obviously ruined meals.

            "Well? Someone call a fucking hospital!" Levi screamed.

            "I-I called the cops!" one of the waitresses stuttered, as if she was proud.

            "Well that's fucking great. Erwin let's go." Levi snapped and walked back to the booth, grabbing his bag and a handful of French fries. Erwin followed suit, his hand still gripping the revolver tightly. He couldn't believe himself, he had been so stunned that he had barely made a move. His heart was racing, his breathing was fast. His hands were numb and clammy, and Levi was right, being threatened, being in the heat of the moment, being a criminal, really did get him off.

            Erwin didn't know why, but when they got in the car, he brought Levi against his chest and kissed him furiously. Levi gripped Erwin's shoulders, Erwin's breathing was ragged, his voice was nothing more than a growl. Levi was gasping, his heart racing as well, and blood still smeared down his jaw and neck. Erwin wasn't sure who initiated what, but clothing was coming off and he wasn't objecting it.

            "Drive the fucking car." Levi growled, and Erwin obliged. They needed to get out of Riverside. They knew cops were coming, but at the same time, they just didn't care. Erwin didn't want to think about dying. Not anymore. Death wasn't fun, death wasn't romantic, death wasn't demented. It was fucking horrifying. Erwin felt so much fear seeing Levi with a gun to his head. He didn't know why, but the image drove straight into his head. Erwin didn't ever want to see that image again. He barely knew the man, but it didn't matter. He knew what he wanted. Or much less, what he didn't want. He didn't want to lose Levi. He couldn't. Erwin realised that. And in the next moment, he knew he was in deep fucking trouble.

* * *

 

            The robber was actually an actor by the name of Jean Kirstein. Jean was trying to research a role for one of the latest movies that was being filmed in Hollywood. The main character would hold someone hostage so he could rob a store. The director insisted a restaurant. Jean, being the charismatic, intelligent, in depth actor he was, decided to get firsthand experience.

He somehow survived.  
            The actor had been picking a lot of heat up ever since he admitted being openly gay, and the crowds of papers and magazines had pestered his boyfriend, Marco Bodt, to no end. Eventually there was some report that Marco said something along the lines of. "I'm upset, but I'm glad he's not dead. I told him not to do it. He took a dropkick to the face and had broken, his neck, collarbone, and his bottom jaw bones. They said if he was slightly underweight he would have died. I think he has a real thick skull."

            All of it would be in the Los Angeles newspapers, hell it would end up all the way to the East Coast. He was a famous actor, and now that shitty restaurant would gladly show people the hole in the ceiling from Jean Kirstein's gun, and people made reservations to eat at the table where Jean Kirstein had broken it with a bullet. All the problems in the world focused on his fame. Jean would be internationally known as the actor with some fucking balls. And perhaps part of the dumbest robbery to grace the earth. All the magazines would be filled with pictures and the tabloids and newspapers. It would all happen tomorrow.

            Levi couldn't care less whether or not he'd see that tomorrow.

* * *

            Levi cared about now though. Erwin didn't know where he parked, how he even got there, or how they had managed their clothing to get off. Levi was sitting in his lap, shirtless, his heart still racing, the robbery, the blood spilled all over that diner floor, it was still fresh in his mind. Erwin felt Levi's breath on his lips, pressing closer, his hand trembling over Levi's shoulder. Levi's mouth pressed to his, his tongue running over his pink lips.

            "I thought you were dead. I thought he was going to kill you..." Erwin mumbled. "I... I couldn't handle it.." He admitted, his hot breath sending shudders up Levi's skin. Levi brought his mouth to his neck, kissing against the muscle of his neck, biting the tendon near his ear. "I... I can't handle it. Oh god, Levi..."

            "Fucking shut up." Levi hissed. "And fuck me." he bit at his ear, Erwin clawed his fingernails into Levi's skin. He had such soft skin, but still wiry with muscles. He kissed and nipped at Erwin's ear, breathing softly against each other. Erwin brought his lips to Levi, even if the man barely reciprocated, he placed his hand under Erwin's shirt, twisting it off. Erwin lifted his arm, helping Levi to discard it. He pressed his lips to him firmly, grunting from the sensation and nuzzling his skin to Levi's, holding him close to his chest. Erwin ran his tongue over his lips, wet and hot against each other's face gasping and mumbling senselessly.

            "Wait, f-fhuck wait." Levi growled and leaned back against the steering wheel. He grabbed his backpack, pulling open one of the pockets and grabbing a few packets of condoms.

            "You're really prepared." Erwin mumbled, pulling his pants undone and kissing Levi wetly, gliding his tongue over his neck, nipping Levi's earlobe. "For everything."

            "I have to be." Levi huffed and grunted as he felt Erwin's cock against his thigh, violently pulling off his pants. "A-agh, fuck, I had a feeling I'd do something really fucking crazy when I died."

            "No more. Nothing about death. I don't want to hear it." Erwin mumbled, he found his underwear at his ankles, and struggled them off, shifting around in his seat. Levi ground his hips down at Erwin, both of them growled. Erwin was aching, Levi brought his hand down on Erwin's abdomen, and started rubbing and grinding the crown of his cock. Levi dropped down and lifted his legs towards the side, laying on the seats as best as he could. His head nuzzled Erwin's stomach, and his tongue lapped at head. Erwin groaned, pushing Levi's head down, and gripping dark raven hair. His breathing hitched, and Levi's was still ragged, his hot breath making Erwin's blood boil, his cock twitching. Erwin bucked his hips, Levi's mouth moaned around him. Erwin shut his eyes tightly, groaning as he bucked into the warmth of Levi's mouth. Levi wet him with saliva, gasping and pulled his mouth away. He grunted, putting the condom packet against his teeth, and ripping it open. Levi was shuddering, and it was so strange to see him fumble, his hair ragged, his breathing hitched, his mouth red and wet. Erwin growled, gripping Levi and pulling him up to kiss him again, the taste of precome mixed with saliva on his tongue. Levi looked dizzy, almost dishevelled, and it was driving Erwin crazy.  Levi pushed the condom down on Erwin's cock, encasing it tightly.

            "God you're so fucking big." Levi growled. "Fuck." He mumbled, his fingers were wet with his saliva and Erwin's precome. He smeared the lube still in the condom packet on the mix, and dropped his underwear to his ankles, his hand snaking between his thighs and pressing to his backside. Levi slipped two fingers in and stretched. He wanted to hurry, and Erwin needed him to hurry. His cock twitched watching Levi's body bouncing back on his own fingers. Levi looked like he was aching, he was moaning between breaths, twisted his fingers around inside of himself. Levi knew to take time for this, even if he didn't want to. His insides stretched and pulled and he moaned slightly, still aching a bit from last night. Levi was pressed to Erwin's chest, his body rested against him, his hips shifting and driving down against his fingers. Levi  moaned breathy words in Erwin's ear, cussing and moaning, snapping his hips down hard. Everything was just movement, heat, energy.

            Erwin couldn't think anymore, he felt primal, violent, and when Levi pulled his fingers out, gasping and dropping onto Erwin, whether he was prepared or not Erwin couldn't wait. He gripped his thighs tightly, slipping Levi's legs apart.  Erwin gave him no time to recover, and pressed his body against him, entering him in one hard thrust.

"Oh _fuck- fucking ah.._ G-god, you're so f-fucking _big_. _"_ Levi gripped Erwin's hair tightly, his aggravated look suddenly melted to a completely dazed one. It lasted seconds, and Levi regained his composure quickly. He growled a bit, and gripped down on one of Erwin's shoulder. The look on his face, even if it lasted two seconds was enough to drive Erwin insane. Levi wasn't sure how to compose himself when Erwin gripped him tightly, and flipped their position. He wrapped his legs around Erwin's body, and clung tight when he felt his back slam into the leather car seat. Levi was unable to suppress a shout that broke from his lips when Erwin started to thrust, no time to recover his breath. Levi's nails raked down Erwin's shoulders, down his back, creating tiny red welts.

            It was _hot_ , and it was driving them both crazy. Levi could feel Erwin's flesh throbbing inside of him, his legs shaking, the sting from being penetrated, combined with the rough thrusts were enough to drive him over the edge. Levi was tight enough for them to feel everything, the head of Erwin's cock pushing fast against his flesh.

            "Levi..." the man could barely sense Erwin's words, much less decipher them. Erwin's mouth connected with his and he panted, tongues pressing and begging to sink into each other's mouths. Levi moaned into his mouth, gasping for air as he felt Erwin sliding out of him only to slam back inside with more speed.

            "Fuck! Erwin!" Levi sputtered, unable to control himself. He tried not to be loud, but Erwin wouldn't allow any recovery time.

            "Mhn..." Erwin broke away from kissing at Levi's neck and shoulder to breathe. "Levi, you're so hot..." He growled against his ear. Levi felt the man's hand come up onto the seat headrest to support himself as he thrust. Levi clawed his shoulders, biting his lip to stop the moans that shot from his vocal cords.

            "You're s-such a fucking horny old man." Levi snapped, and reached up, gripping Erwin's hair tightly between his hands. "Being a criminal makes you fucking lose your mind-ah!" Levi was cut off when Erwin started to thrust faster and harder. Levi couldn't do much else, just trying to force himself to stop moaning. His legs gripped tighter around Erwin's thighs, and his nails dug into his shoulder's until they bled. Even then Levi couldn't stop any moan being created in his chest. " _F-Fuuck!_ "

            Their hips snapped violently, and the car shook, the two of them _fucked_. They fucked like there was no tomorrow, each jerk of Erwin's hips impaled him. Levi shouted and moaned and cried out in pleasure. Saliva escaped the corners of his mouth and tears found the corners of his eyes. As Erwin withdrew to snap his hips forward again, he dragged over a sensitive spot, and slammed right into his nerves. Levi's body shuddered, he choked on his own spit, and his claws gripped into Erwin's hair, drawing blood from his scalp.

            "Fuck! F-fuck. Do tha- _god-damnit_. Do that a-again- _fuck_." Levi couldn't control himself, he barely knew what he was saying, and Erwin barely understood. He thrust as hard as he could, finding that sensitive flesh inside Levi that drove him crazy. He head of his cock ground hard against that spot and Levi shouted, clutching his shoulders for dear life and stuttering an array of curse words to match.

            Heat surged in him like fire. The orgasm wasn't soft or blissful. It was violent, and raw, and had Levi shouting and begging as Erwin's motions got rapid and disorientating. All the sensations of pleasure shooting up his spine and Levi wondered if his heart stopped for a moment. He couldn't even feel his own body, he couldn't even think. Levi felt the warmth pool between them, and he realised that he had cum, sticky fluid covering his abdomen. When his hips finally ceased moving, and Levi could breathe the heated air between them, he dropped his head back on the seat, his eyes shadowed with the haze of bliss.

            Erwin's face was flushed red from his own orgasm, and he pulled out slow, eliciting a groan from Levi. He slid onto his side, groaning a bit. His body limp and he draped his left arm around the other man, pulling Levi into a hug. They gasped at each other for air, slowly settling down to a normal heart rate.

            "We.... We're real.. fucked up..." Erwin could barely mumbled, and hugged Levi closer to himself. Levi blinked, his eyes still donning a dazed expression.

            "I know..." Levi's response barely bubbled from his lips.

            "I... I have to... I have to tell you... s-something." Erwin replied, his composure slowly getting back together.

            "Shh." Levi pressed his hand to Erwin's mouth, tilting back. "Not now, just.... just shut the fuck up. Just for now..." Levi dropped back onto the seat, settling against Erwin. He didn't allow anymore words to be said. Erwin didn't like the idea of taking orders, but with Levi gasping for air, huddled to his chest, he had a feeling he could get used to it.

* * *

 

The ride to Los Angeles was quiet.

            Levi still sat on Erwin's lap. Hands on his shoulders, sometimes fussing with the bolo tie, and how straight his collar was. Erwin occasionally pet through Levi's hair when they came to a stoplight. It was calming, the two still didn't say a word, and they didn't feel anything needed to be said. Erwin would lean down and kiss Levi's forehead, and when they came to other stoplights, Levi took his turn to kiss Erwin hard on the mouth, before dropping his head back on Erwin's shoulder. The time flew by, even if it was getting uncomfortable for Levi to sit on his thighs, Erwin managed.

            The scenery was concrete and rust. Mike's shop wasn't in the good side of Los Angeles, not that the place had many good sides. It was perfect for them to hide cars since the whole neighbourhood was so suspicious, LAPD had just essentially given up on it. It was a rusty low-income place full of people who had the information on what to get and where to get it, and people who were willing to look. Erwin drove into a very small parking lot behind a low-rise apartment complex. He leaned back a bit, looking to the garage door. He kissed Levi's head again, and pulled back slowly.

            "I think you should sit in the passenger's seat." Erwin mumbled, finally breaking the silence. Levi didn't object, he didn't feel the need for objecting. Erwin honked the horn and sure enough the garage door raise, Mike stood on the other side, his arms folded, his jumpsuit covered in coolant and motor oil. He looked like a disappointed mother, and Erwin sighed softly, driving in quietly to the garage so they could conduct their work in peace.

            The garage could only fit two cars, the rest was filled with rows of machinery that Mike had stolen to fix the cars that Erwin brought. There was tools all over, tires lined up on the side, not to mention a box full of new licenses plates that had been given to them by Nile. Perhaps the only thing given to them by Nile. Erwin sighed softly, pushing the parking break down and opening the door, stepping out to greet the man.

            "Well. It's here." Erwin said first, trying to get a grip on how the conversation would go. "Not a scratch on it."

            "Is that the hostage?" Mike asked, pointing to the passenger seat where Levi sat.

            "Yes. He's not a hostage. He's actually been very compliant with me. I think it would be better to just say he was along for the ride." Erwin watched as Mike walked towards the driver door, opening it. His whole body stiffened, and Erwin continued on to speak.

            "His name is-"

            _"Levi?"_ Mike's voice was drowned in shock, and Erwin stood still as the man stepped forward. Levi opened the passenger door, exiting the car. He tilted his head, examining Mike for all he was worth and scoffed.

            "Fancy seeing you here Mike." Levi replied, and shut the car door quietly.

            "I can't believe this..." Mike twisted his head around, glaring at Erwin. " _Levi_ is your hostage?"

            "You two know each other?" Erwin asked, slightly surprised, but trying not to show it.

            "Not on purpose." Mike huffed. "He used to be in my unit in the army."

            "You were in the army?" Erwin asked, turning to Levi.

            "Sort of." Levi replied, shrugging his shoulders. "I don't like to talk about it."

            "No way you're the hostage. You're kidding, right?" Mike looked back and forth between Erwin's confused face, and Levi's bored one.

            "You would snap his neck in half." Mike remarked, pointing to Erwin. "You'd eat him alive. How on earth would anyone get the upper hand on you?"

            "I was drunk and bored." Levi replied, turning his head a bit. "It's been much more interesting than Vegas anyway."

            Mike furrowed his brows and looked Levi over. "I thought you lived in Chicago...?" Mike's eyes then returned to the Bugatti sitting in his garage. "How'd you end up here?"

            "My friends decided that I should go to Vegas with them to loosen up." Levi huffed. "Stupidest month of my life so far. I registered the car to be in Vegas for the month in case of any legal issues. It was Hanji's idea. You remember her?"

            "The chick with glasses? Yeah." Mike gave a nod of his head.

            "Wait." Erwin interjected. "What are you two talking about?"

            "Levi was in my unit in the infantry for a few months. You always moved around in the army right? We met up a few months ago." Mike explained. "Of course it was... to... well..."

            "I contacted Mike so I could find a Bugatti Veyron." Levi replied. "Of course, all this bullshit happened, and here we are."

            "You're kidding, right?" Erwin looked back and forth between the two men.

            "It's a small fuckin world isn't it?" Levi remarked, giving a scoff. "As fun as this is getting, I gotta take a dump."

            "Bathrooms down the hall to the left." Mike replied, pointing towards the blue door on the wall next to them.

            "Thanks." Levi replied, and stepped away, walking over to the blue door and closing it behind him.

            Erwin turned around to face Mike, a confused expression on his face.

            "You've been selling cars behind my back?" Erwin asked, his eyebrows arched at Mike. Mike scoffed, turning his head.

            "Don't snap at me! When you steal cars it's not like I get paid. Nile doesn't send me shit except the license plates."

            "Well I hate to be an asshole but I'm the one out there stealing the car, not you." Erwin remarked. "And Nile is probably going to stiff my pay again anyway."

            "Oh fuck off." Mike snapped. "Tell that to your mansion."

            "You know, you're the one that said you didn't want to touch a piece of Nile's money." Erwin added, looking around. "You could have just said so. You didn't have to go behind my back-"

            "I didn't go behind your back, okay?" Mike snapped. "Levi contacted me because he was interested in a car. So I talked to him about a few. He didn't say shit, he didn't talk to me about anything, he just asked and left. I swear I don't know why. I thought he was in Chicago. We didn't keep in touch or anything, I wasn't going to consider him a friend. That man always scared the shit out of me."

            "So what do I do with him? You told me to kill him." Erwin looked back at the car, shaking his head slightly.

            "Well... just dump him in the ocean."

            "Mike! I'm not killing him. I can't kill him."

            "Well what do you want me to say? I didn't tell him a damn thing about Nile. You were the one that opened your mouth about it. If he goes out and tells someone 'Erwin Smith steals cars for Nile Dawk.' We're not going to have a good time, even if we somehow get away with it."

            "He's not going to do that."

            "And how do you know?"

            "Because... he's not that kind of person."

            "Not that kind of person? Levi?" Mike shook his head, running his fingers through his shaggy blonde hair and pulling his own locks. He gave a growl of an exhale, turning to Erwin. "I... I can't believe this. Erwin, I may not know that man, but he is barely a damn person. He's a nutcase, I don't even know how he's still alive to be honest. Everything is just a sick game to him, dying included. When he was in the army, he told me enlisted so he could just die. And everything so far has just disappointed the hell out of him. He's got no will to live, and nothing to lose. I don't know what he wants, so in my opinion, give him a bullet between his eyes and call it a day."

            "I can't do that Mike." Erwin shook his head. "He's not a nutcase. Maybe he's not as sane as us, but there's something about him..." Erwin looked a little lost for words, and turned towards Mike, squaring his shoulders. "I want him to stick around."

            "Then go be a nutcase with him, because I don't know what's wrong with you." Mike sighed softly. "Look do what you want, I'm not going to try control your decisions anymore. But leave me out of it. I've been wanting out of this business for a while. I started this with the impression that this would be fun, and doable, not life threatening. Now I'm pretty sure I'll be stealing cars till I'm dead." Mike leaned back on his work table, the phone in his pocket started to ring. He produced the phone from his pocket, groaning.

            "Speak of the devil and he comes." Mike snapped. "It's Nile." He brought the phone to his ear, sighing as he accepted the call.

            "The car just got in Nile, it'll be a few minutes till I'm done." Mike huffed.

            "O-oh. I see. This is Marl-"

            "I know who you are Marlowe." Mike huffed. "Look, just tell him that it'll be in his garage in Long Beach by sunset. Is that a problem?"

            "H-huh? N-no, that's good actually." Marlowe replied quietly. "He's only got free time during 6:15 to 6:45 pm today. Nile will be there to pick it up."

            "Great, now leave me alone." Mike snapped the phone shut, shoving it back in his pocket. "Well now it's my turn to work." the man turned to the car, opening the door and looking over the furnishings. He gave a small inhale and turned his head sharply, looking to Erwin.

            "The car seat adjuster is broken. You two had sex in here didn't you?" Mike asked, folding his arms.

            "Three times." Levi's voice travelled over from across the room. Erwin felt his skin flushing red under the collar of his shirt. Mike always acted like something of a mother since Erwin was little, and the face he donned now was something of utter disappointment.

            "Also I sort of vomited on the seat too." Levi added, standing next to Erwin.

            "I can smell it from here." Mike huffed. "Just go be boyfriends in the corner. I have to work."

            Mike worked fast, he always did. Erwin listened to him, sitting in the corner where there was a dusty chase lounge and something of a disarrayed kitchen next to it. Levi straddled his lap when he sat down, and leaned in, pressing his lips to Erwin's neck.

            "So, the end is pretty close. What's going to happen next?" Levi hissed, tilting his head. Erwin looked down, wrapping his arm around Levi.

            "I don't know. I told you earlier. I needed to talk to you. I have to tell you something." Erwin leaned in, placing his hand against Levi's shoulder. "I-"

            "Wait." Levi interrupted him. "If you're going to tell me you love me, I don't want to hear it."

            Erwin stiffened a bit, lifting his head. "No.. I wasn't going to say that. Not that I wouldn't."

            "Well, there's no sense in getting attached to me." Levi replied. "Did you talk about killing me again with Mike?"

            "Kind of.." Erwin replied. "Why are you so obsessed with it?"

            "Don't you ever think about it?" Levi remarked. "You can plan your death. But people never will. You can always plan out every single thing you do while you live, but nobody plans how they're going to die. And I even have the guy who had the intention of killing me for a car. A car was worth more than my life. Life is only measured in money and time." he lifted his head, tilting it. "I can have sex with you, but I can fuck anyone I want, that doesn't make me romantic. Death though. Taking my life, and destroying it. I die really easy. Snap my neck, rip out my heart, smash my head in. I go out like a light. And nobody else can ever do the same. You can't kill me twice, even if you defile my body and set it on fire. It's not the thing that killed me, by then I'm just an object to be played with. Sex is nothing. To rip the life out of someone's body, make them nothing... that's the most intimate thing in the world."

            "I try not to believe you're crazy, but I'm wondering." Erwin replied, running his fingers through Levi's hair.

            "Of course. Death horrifies the masses, people think you're fucked in the head when you entertain the idea." Levi brought his head back, leaning into Erwin's arm. "I don't give a fuck about the masses. Besides, haven't you ever been curious? Thought about jumping off a building once?"

            Erwin thought about it for a moment, and he could recall once when he had lost his arm, sitting in a hospital room, looking down out the window, and wondered for a moment what would happen if he threw himself out of it. He had a surge of fear and depression when those thoughts came to him, and he let them go as soon as possible. It was still there, but sometimes in a sense of curiosity he wondered still what would have happened if he threw his body down a hundred feet into the concrete.

            "It was morbid curiosity." Erwin admitted. "But never to the point of planning what I would do."

            "You'd never plan, because you'd never actually do it." Levi replied. "You never thought for a second that you were worthless. Someone always ran in to tell you that you were special, you were unique, you were one of a kind. None of us are really. Just pieces of shit, sharing the same planet."

            "I don't think you're worthless." Erwin replied.

            Levi was suddenly silent. He looked up at Erwin, he seemed a little irritated, and then confused. The emotions went away in a second, and Levi just snorted.

            "Shut up." he remarked. Erwin just rolled his eyes. Levi turned his head, resting it on Erwin's shoulder. Erwin watched him for a long moment, not realising the severity of his words. Levi would have strangled Erwin, broken his neck, it would've been easy. Easier than knowing he cared. He sat there for a long moment, judging what he should do, and just decided to look at the man. Erwin was relaxed against the dusty couch, still holding Levi's head, running through his hair. Levi dropped his head down against his chest, scoffing.

            "You're the worst kind of person." Levi remarked.

            "I know." Erwin retorted. "Seems we all are."

            Levi kept his silence, and Erwin said nothing more, his hand ghosting through his hair. Levi shot up away from him suddenly, reaching down and pulling his backpack up to his chest. Erwin felt him sitting on his legs and slowly lifted himself, looking to the man. Levi looked away, watching Mike, who was already spray painting the car chrome with gold tint. Erwin could feel a wave of anger generating off of Levi, and decided he had to approach it in some way than just staring.

            "You seem a little upset."

            "A little?" Levi hissed in return.

            Levi's eyes are glowing the way they did in the motel that night. Erwin swallowed his pride a bit, feeling he was about to get yelled at for just trying to say what was on his mind. The subject at hand still needed to be addressed, so Erwin waited. It needed to be addressed sooner or later anyway.

            "You're so goddamn infuriating." Levi snapped. "Why do you still want to associate yourself with me? After everything I've told you most people just fuck off."

            "Do you want me to fuck off?"

            Levi scowled, his hands clawing into the material of his backpack.

            "You do understand that I'm not a normal person right?"

            Erwin nodded.

            "I want you to fire a gun in my fucking head. Why don't you get that? I don't want to bother with living in this goddamn world anymore. I'm not someone you want to hang out with on a regular basis."

            "I don't care if you're not normal." Erwin replied. Levi twitched, his body turning to face Erwin fully. It was the second time he looked surprised, the other time would be during sex. Levi growled something, Erwin could barely catch it, and he scoffed.

            "I'm not going to be anything you people want me to be." Levi hissed. "I don't like TV, I don't like dates and dinners and romance bullshit. I don't want to live like that. I don't want to live if I can't have the threat of being shot at, and being kidnapped and tortured and murdered."

            "Trust me, I'm not going to take that away from the world. This world will always be a horrible place." Erwin replied.

            "No it fucking wont. Not if you keep acting this way." Levi hissed.

            And Erwin looked to the man, and for a moment he finally understood. Levi was used to acting out of place, he was used to the threat of danger. He liked it that way. Everything was like a fix to him, like an addict to injury and death. Erwin realised in a few seconds that Levi could handle fighting violently, being broken and injured, bleeding out everywhere and dying in agony. Levi wasn't afraid of dying. He was afraid of living.

            "Levi-"

            Levi stood up, turning away from Erwin. He produced a cigarette from his backpack, lighting it and sat down on the chair nearby. He continued to look away, as if looking at Erwin would make matters any different. Grey smoke drifted around his head, clinging to his hair like an illusion trying to become real.

            "You don't get it." Levi huffed, smoke escaping him.

            "I think I do-"

            "No. You don't Erwin. You don't understand what I'm saying. Let me make it clear. I don't know how long you imagined this to go on, but eventually, one of us is going to kill each other." Levi's words were something of a premonition. Erwin couldn't do anything but laugh at them. He sat there for a long moment, watching Levi smoke. The room was dusty, and afternoon light filtered through the windows and lit up Levi's hair as well as the smoke encircling him.

            "I really am insane like you." Erwin replied, and gave a soft scoff, as if he didn't believe himself.

            Levi scowled, and turned his head, hugging his bag close. Erwin realized he really must've been insane. So insane, that he couldn't help liking Levi, even when he threatened his very life.

* * *

 

            The afternoon was beautiful and clear. The drive to Long Beach was short, the newly fitted gold Bugatti looked beautiful, sunlight glistened off the coating. Mike had done a great job this time, the car even smelled of pine, but that was mostly to please Mike more than anyone else. The leather had been redone, and the car looked as good as new. Levi was still smoking, and Erwin wondered if Levi smoked when he was thinking because he wasn't stopping nor was he saying anything. The sun reflected off the ocean tide as the breeze began to settle the tide. It was low and slow and the mist of ocean crashing against the rocky shore was calm and cool. The air was clear and crisp with the scent of saltwater. Erwin rounded towards a small garage near a group of trees by the ocean. The area had cleared long ago once the tide had died off and all the people enjoying the afternoon had returned home with either tans or sunburns. There was a long silence between the two, with nothing but the crashing of ocean waves, and the sound of Levi's lighter igniting another cigarette.

            "Nile will be here soon." Erwin decided to break the silence.

            "So I guess this is where I die?" Levi replied, looking around the car, and back out at the garage. "Gross. This place looks like a homeless shack."

            "This is just a hideout." Erwin huffed, turning his head. "And no. Levi I'm letting you go."

            "..." Levi stared for a long moment, smoke escaping his lips.

            "Do you need me to open the door?" Erwin asked, tilting his head.

            "No." Levi replied. "I don't believe you."

            "I'm not going to kill you. I was trying to tell you earlier. That there was something I needed to tell you. I can't stand to see you die." Erwin remarked, looking down. "I guess you thought I was going to say something like I love you, but that wasn't it. I was trying to say that I wanted to let you go. Go ahead. You can run to the nearest pay phone and call the cops. There's one up the street and to the left, next to the bus station. I don't care. I'd much rather be arrested for the rest of my life than keep you in danger."

            Levi stared long and hard at Erwin, smoke drifting around him, shading his eyes that were already clouded with thoughts. Erwin leaned back, letting his hand go of the wheel.

            "Why the fuck would I do that?" Levi snapped.

            "I threatened your life and stole your car didn't I? I'm done with this anyway." Erwin remarked and looked down. "At some point I was going to just launder my money and hide out somewhere until no one was looking for me anymore, but I just don't care at this point. There's nothing interesting about that life unless I find someone to spend time with."

            "You have Mike don't you?" Levi retorted, flicking the ashes of his cigarette onto his lap.

            Erwin scoffed. "Mike started acting like my mom after he got kids, and I don't think his girlfriend wants him to be around some bastard like me." he turned to face Levi, running his fingers gently under Levi's jaw. "If I could find someone to spend time with, it'd probably be you."

            Levi twitched, and turned to face Erwin. "You're fucking kidding."

            "I know. But I had to tell you at some point." Erwin replied simply, and leaned back. "I don't think we'd do well together, and I'm sure you don't want to be around me anymore, so it's more of a dream. You can go. I don't mind."

            Levi stared at Erwin for a long moment, he looked almost disgusted by the man, smoke exited his lips, his eyebrows knitted together, his eyes glistening with anger. He chucked the cigarette out the window, and lifted his backpack onto his lap. Erwin waited for him to place the backpack on and leave, but instead, Levi began to unlock the combination lock on the zippers, and turned to Erwin.

            "Fine. Say I play your game. I skip down the street with my bag and call the cops, whatever gets your dick hard." Levi snapped, and turned looking up the side street leading towards the boardwalk. "How do I know I'm not going to take off down the street and you just shoot me in the back of the head?"

            "This is how." Erwin pulled the revolver from its holster, and snapped his wrist forward, opening the revolver chamber.

            There were six empty slots, the sunlight hitting the gun and showing how empty it really was. Erwin showed the revolver off, turning it around to let the man get a good hard look at it. He leaned back in his seat, and sighed softly. Levi raised his brow, a slight amused look, and he leaned forward slightly.

            "You've been bluffing this whole goddamn time?" Levi asked incredulously.

            "I always bluff. I don't want to kill anyone for a car. Nothing is worth killing someone."

            "Huh." Levi opened his unlocked backpack, unzipping it. Erwin assumed he wanted to see if everything was orderly. He flipped around some clothing inside, and peered back to Erwin.

            "You never keep it loaded?" Levi asked.

            "Never." Erwin admitted. "I carry bullets in my bag, but never in the revolver. I have no intention of shooting someone."

            "That's funny." Levi replied. Erwin shrugged his shoulders, and set the revolver down on the dashboard. Levi shook his head in disbelief, and scoffed almost violently. He turned his head, and glared at Erwin, shoving his hand in his backpack. "You know, for an army grunt, you're a real fool. If there's anything I learned in the army, you _always_ keep your gun loaded."

            At that moment, Erwin heard the unmistakable sound of a gun being cocked.

            A million thoughts ran through his head at that moment, but by the time they processed, and he was able to turn to Levi, he felt a gun barrel being pressed into the side of his ribs.

            "What?" Erwin was able to assemble the word as he looked at Levi. Levi had pulled a small slender pistol out of his backpack and pushed it into his ribs hard. His eyes glowed, the corner of his lips tugging upwards. Erwin felt his body tense up, all his muscles stiffened. Levi lifted the gun to Erwin's head, and brushed loose strands of his hair back with it. A tremor seized his body, he felt his mouth go dry. He was at a loss for words, he wasn't even sure if this was actually happening, but Levi had his legs tightly around his backpack and Erwin realised he was a real fucking idiot not to take his bag away.

            "You've got to be fucking kidding me." Erwin managed to say without his voice being as wrecked as the rest of his body.

            "Oh, I'm sure you're thinking that." Levi replied very calmly, and tilted his head until his neck bone popped again. "Now get out of my fucking car."

            Erwin did as he was told, opening the driver door and stepping out. Levi mirrored his actions, sliding out the driver's side, keeping his pistol aimed at Erwin's chest. He held his backpack, slipping it on and keeping his smile consistent. Erwin's face had been drained of color, and his body was ridged, yet his hand still trembled. Levi just watched him with an eyebrow raised, and shut the door behind them.

            "You had a gun on you this _entire time_?" Erwin was somehow able to speak, his voice wavered a bit, stunned by shock.

            "Of course I have a fucking gun! I own a Bugatti and I live Chicago!" He snapped. "God, you really are retarded. You know, I thought at some point you'd figure it out. Lucky, I trusted you to be an idiot the whole way through. Why would I keep a lock on my backpack for fucking clothes? I don't give a shit if people steal my clothes, I don't want people to steal this thing." Levi tilted the gun, keeping it aimed at Erwin.

            "And how do I know you're not bluffing like me?" Erwin replied, he seemed a little confident, his voice wavered less.

            Levi turned his aim above Erwin's chest, pointing to the side door and squeezed the trigger, pumping a bullet put of the gun. The loud blast shot past Erwin's shoulder and splintered the door frame. Erwin's skin turned pale, he could feel the air from the bullet on his shoulder. His hands were clammy, his body stiffening from the thought of dying.

            "So you're going to kill me?" Erwin asked, he seemed very matter of fact with his tone.

            "Mhn. I thought about it. I thought about it a lot actually." Levi replied, keeping his gun trained on Erwin. "And trust me, I've killed a lot of people like you Mister Erwin Smith. Criminals don't really get mourned, sorry to say. But I guess I just don't know what I want to do with you. I thought I would be killed by you. The tables really turn, don't they?"

            Erwin said nothing, his mouth hung open like he was about to say something, but no noise ever left his mouth. He shut his mouth eventually, his lips pressed together thinly, his face still flushing pale. Levi chucked, and opened his bag, kneeling to grab something out of it, and looked to Erwin's face.

            "I never did tell you my job did I?" Levi asked. He pulled out a black covered case, and revealed a silver star shaped badge. Erwin stared for a few moments, and shook his head in disbelief.

            "Chicago fucking police department." He mumbled under his breath. "You're a goddamn cop."

            "That's right. I'm a _goddamn_ cop." Levi retorted. "I told you didn't I? When you think about it, crime happens every day. I wish it happened around me more often. Big car chases down I-15, shoot outs and holding a gun to my head. The works. I get off on that kind of shit."

            "So you work for the feds?" Erwin asked, as if he didn't hear the first time.

            "Gang specialist." Levi replied and looked over himself. "Of course my friends think I take the job too seriously. Think I ought to wind down, get drunk, have fun, all that bullshit. They really don't know how much this gets me off." Levi pulled out a cigarette, dropping his badge back into the bag, and finding his lighter. He idled while Erwin was at his will, and pulled the cigarette close to his mouth for a long drag. "Never really gave a shit about carjackers, but now I admit, I'm more interested in the trade now."

            "So what? You're going to arrest me?"

            Levi scoffed. "I thought about that. But no. No, you're not going to learn if I send you to prison. You're not the kind of person who would learn a single thing there." he explained, grey smoke escaping his mouth as he gave an exhale. He sounded threatening, and Levi's menacing aura held Erwin in a tight grip. "Besides, you're too interesting for me to put you behind bars. No, no, no, there's different ways of teaching you a lesson."

            "And what would that be?" Erwin asked, keeping his hand in the air, staring at the barrel of Levi's gun.

            "Take off your pants."

            Erwin stared at Levi for a long moment.

            "Excuse me?" he asked, blinking a few times.

            "Did I stutter?" Levi tilted his head, pointing the gun down at Erwin's groin. "Take off your pants."

            Erwin knew he didn't have an option. He unbuckled the belt on his pants, undoing them, and dropped the slacks to his ankles.

            "You know what? While you're at it, take off everything." Levi replied, pointing his gun around at Erwin's body. "And fold it nicely."

            "Do I look like someone who can fold things nicely?" Erwin hissed, struggling to unbutton his shirt.

            "Hmm... Good point." Levi walked up, holding his gun low and slowly helped Erwin work his shirt off, throwing it onto the ground. Erwin kicked off his shoes and socks, stepping back a bit. Levi pressed the gun against his abdomen, looking over his undershirt and boxers. A shudder rippled over Erwin's body, and Levi chuckled. "Being a criminal really does get you off." he looked down at Erwin's underwear and tilted his head. "I don't like the way that looks on you. Take it off too."

            "You've got to be fucking kidding me." Erwin hissed.

            Levi looked up, pressing a kiss to his throat, and cocking the gun against Erwin's chin. "Five more bullets. Choose your words wisely."

            Erwin pulled off his underwear, and stood there bare in the garage. Everything visible to Levi, who took his time to walk around Erwin, enjoying the view of every scar, every birthmark, every patch of skin. Erwin's cheeks were colored like a peach in the sun. He rubbed the back of his neck, watching Levi as he circled around.

            "Enjoying the view?" Erwin asked, scoffing a bit.

            "Yes. I was wondering how far you'd go just because I have gun." Levi remarked. "Useful things they are, you can make people's whole lives change with these."

            "You wouldn't shoot me." Erwin replied, keeping his gaze cool.

            "Not to kill." Levi countered. "I'm sure there's some things you wouldn't appreciate me shooting." Levi pressed the gun to his groin, producing another shudder out of fear. Levi picked up Erwin's clothing and fished the handcuff key out of the pocket. Levi unlocked the handcuff on his wrist and looked to Erwin, tilting his head.

            "Give me your hand." He huffed.

            Erwin did so, offering his left hand out. Levi brought the metal bracelet down on his wrist, locking it. He pulled Erwin forward, gun in his other hand, and looked around the garage before finding the metal shelving unit in the corner. It was covered in dust and old supplies for making cars look pretty like car wax and terry cloths for cleaning. Levi cuffed him to the heavy shelf, making sure he was low to the ground. Erwin sat down on the concrete, his face flushed red with color.

            "I just wanted to do this for shits and giggles, nothing special." Levi remarked. "Be lucky your cock is big because you don't have much for personality." Erwin said nothing so Levi got to his knees so they could be face to face, and brought his lips to Erwin's neck, breathing softly against his skin. "Hmm... You know. This relationship wouldn't work. That's what I was trying to explain to you. One of us will kill the other eventually. I didn't think we could ever actually live in the same house, full of stolen money. But you're so pathetic and bored, I might just take you up on that offer."

            Erwin twitched a bit, looking to Levi, and his featured softened a bit. He gave a small smile, and Levi pulled a pen out of his backpack, chuckling slightly.

            "This has been fun. I hope we can do it again sometime. Maybe a big shootout the next time?"

            "Car chase down I-15? Gun pressed to your head?"

            "Bomb strapped to my chest would be more dramatic, don't you think?" Levi pressed the pen against Erwin's forearm, writing down a few words and numbers. He stepped back, and admired Erwin in complete nude, handcuffed to a shelving unit, and gave a sadistic smile. Erwin looked down at his arm, looking over what Levi had wrote. A phone number, and an address to an apartment in Chicago, Illinois.

            "Maybe we should do something together soon. A date maybe." Levi remarked. He began to pick up Erwin's clothes, even his shoes and smiled at the man. "Here, I'll let you have some dignity." he pulled the bolo tie in his pocket out, and slid it across the cement floor. "Don't worry, I'm sure your friend Nile will be here soon."

            "What am I supposed to tell him, exactly?" Erwin huffed, tugging the handcuff a bit. Levi was putting his clothes in the Bugatti, and pulled out his cellphone and the handcuff key, placing it on the table, out of Erwin's reach.

            "Tell him a fucking nutcase stole your clothes and took his car." Levi replied, sitting in the Bugatti driver seat, and revved the engine. Levi tilted his head. "I'll call you when I get a new phone, thanks for breaking mine, by the way." Erwin rolled his eyes, leaning on the shelving unit. "This has been fun. And neither of us have died just yet. What should the next time be? Bank robbery? Destroying Nile's private security company?"

            "I was thinking something small. Like robbing a jewellery store." Erwin replied, leaning back against the wall.

            "We'll stress the detail's later, I better leave before we both get arrested." Levi replied, reversing quickly out of the parking garage. "See you around, loverboy."

            "See you around, officer." Erwin retorted.

            The vision of the gold colored Bugatti speeding alongside the Boardwalk really was beautiful. The sun streaked and glistened over the new paint, and the sound of people chattering and the ocean lapping the shore in the distance. Time passed where there was the sound of the Bugatti revving violently, and eventually disappeared down the street. Erwin sighed softly as another much more familiar car pulled in, a red Lamborghini, with two men. A man with an overzealous bowl cut, and an older man with a suit and beard. Nile stared for a long moment at the naked man, and pulled off his sunglasses, looking around in disbelief.

            "Where the fuck is the car? Where the fuck are your clothes?" Nile snapped, looking around as if the Bugatti had hidden away somehow.

            "Do you want me to get a blanket sir?" Marlowe asked, looking to Erwin.

            "What? No- I mean yes! Fuck." Nile walked up to Erwin, looking around the place. His eyes wide and his mouth shut tight in a straight line. Marlowe draped the blanket over Erwin's lower body, and stood by Nile, looking around in confusion. Nile stared down at the man for a long moment, before realising that he really wasn't going to say anything. "What the _fuck_ happened to you?" Nile snapped, his eyes glowing.

            Erwin thought about the question. He said nothing for a long moment, and sighed softly, before he finally replied.

            "I think... I got a boyfriend."

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you enjoyed, this is my first Eruri fanfic. I just want to say thank you for all the comments, they really make me happy to see people enjoy my writing and tell me what they liked about it. If you'd like to send me a prompt or any other fanfic things, look for me on my tumblr arcadiamahler.


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